Forgiveness

I had a "falling out" with the woman who redesigned the website for my business. She is the same person who designed the website for my church and she was referred to me by my Pastor.

In addition to redesigning the website, she became the new host for our site. We had multiple problems with the service and those problems came to a head last week with a flurry of emails. It ended with her shutting my site and email down and me scrambling to find someone to quickly redesign my site and set up new email accounts.

I won’t provide all the details but I was so upset with the woman that I put a big red X over her in my mind. I never wanted to see or speak to her again and I had every intention of filing a lawsuit against her.

We had a women’s conference at my church on Saturday and unbeknownst to me, she was invited. When she arrived, we both looked surprised, offered nervous smiles and proceeded to avoid further eye or physical contact. I determined in my mind that I would just pretend that she did not exist.

The conference program started with praise and worship. I stood in the back of the room enjoying the opportunity to praise God. Hands lifted, I joined in the singing when the overwhelming sense of conviction began to set in. It was as if God was saying, “Stop it right now. I’m not even trying to hear you until you reconcile with your sister.” I tried to ignore God for a minute but God can be very persistent. He simply would not allow it and I knew that all the singing in the world would not give me any peace.

I went over to her, whispered in her ear and asked her if she would come outside with me. She gave me the "look of death" and said, “No”. I asked her again and asked that she trust me. She relented.

We went outside and I just gave her a hug and she started to cry. We started to cry. I apologized and it was if a giant weight lifted. God was pleased. Honestly, I don’t remember if she apologized to me too. It didn’t even matter at that point. I just knew that I needed to apologize. That’s all it took – all was well.

God has been dealing with me on the issue of forgiveness since my divorce in 2002. My ex-husband has never apologized to me for anything he did during our marriage. He has never acknowledged any wrongdoing. As much as I have tried to forgive this man – I know in my heart that I haven’t. I can’t seem to forgive him because he has never apologized. Instead all I want is to be able to witness it when God “gets him” for all he did to me and my children.

I know that Scripture tells us to forgive – period. We are not to forgive only if someone asks for forgiveness. We are simply to forgive, just as God forgives us. (Thank you Lord.)

What happened on Saturday shows me that it is in me to forgive. I just need to figure out how to use Saturday’s experience as a precursor to offering unconditional forgiveness to anyone and everyone – even my ex.

Pray for me. . .

AFL-CIO

The following headline caught my eye on CNN’s website today, “AFL-CIO supports Obama”.

What a surprise!

The BET Awards

I watched the BET Awards with my daughter last night. It contained the predictable mix.

1. Sagging pants rap performances – I just wanted to reach into the television and pull those pants up. That urge was especially strong when Nelly performed. I actually like him (in general) but his pants just drove me crazy.
2. Comedy -- D.L. Hughley was the host and I have to say – he was not very funny but hosting an awards show has to be a difficult job.
3. Dancers – Chris Brown and Ciara were really good but there was a really awkward ending to their dance routine. I couldn’t figure it out and I sensed that they couldn’t either because they just walked off the stage without punctuation.
4. Arrogance – Kanye West. Need I say more?
5. Awards to music legends -- This year those awards went to Quincy Jones and Al Green – neither of whom seemed prepared with a speech. It was kind of sad listening to them ramble.
6. Gratuitous Political Pitches – "Vote for Obama" was repeated ad nauseam.

In spite of it all, for the most part the show was entertaining.

Of course a Black awards show would be incomplete without a Gospel performance. Marvin Sapp was the performer of the hour (actually the show was 3 hours). He sang his song “Never Would Have Made It”.

While I was watching the show, I was also working on my laptop. So, while Marvin Sapp was singing I had my head down and away from the television. All of a sudden I heard my daughter say, “Are you serious? For real? You’ve got to be kidding me. What? Subliminal messages now?”

I looked up and while Marvin Sapp was singing, a large photo of Barack and Michelle Obama was projected behind him. The words to his song are about only having “made it” because of Christ (I always assumed he was speaking of Christ anyway). So was the message that we never could have made it without Barack Obama? Or was the message that Barack Obama never could have made it without Christ? Or was the message that “we” have a chance to “make it” because of Barack Obama? Or was it simply vote for Obama?

What could have been a meaningful time of praise and worship to Christ was turned into a political message. I was confused and offended.

So now you may wonder how or why I found the show entertaining with everything else I’ve said about it. Hmmm, good question.

Call to Renewal

Barack Obama’s comparing of James Dobson with Al Sharpton is all over the news today. It was two years ago but I was still curious enough to read the entire text of his “Call to Renewal” speech. It was about 13 pages long but I thought it was important to read it all so I would not be guilty of clinging to a simple sound- bite.

Obama said, “And even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson’s or Al Sharpton's? Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our bibles. Folks haven't been reading their bibles.”

I’m not quite sure how James Dobson got into the mix where teaching Christianity is concerned, but I could let that silly comparison go. What was even more ridiculous was Obama's quoting of laws from the Old Testament.

So my question is, who exactly is your Jesus Barack Obama? And what exactly did he die for?

Romans 7:6 says, “But now we have been released from the Law, having died to that by which we were bound, so that we serve in newness of the Spirit and not in oldness of the letter”.

Galatians 2:16 says, “nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified.”

Barack Obama, it appears that it is you who hasn't been reading the Bible.

Games of the XXIX Olympiad

The Lakers lost the championship and Tiger is out for the rest of the year so my sports focus has turned to the Olympics. August 8th is the date and Beijing is the place. The slogan for the 2008 Olympics is "One World, One Dream". I suppose we do all have that same dream of winning.

I remember when the Summer Olympics were held in Los Angeles in 1984. It was truly a magical and exciting time for Angelinos. The city was all “dressed up”, “decked out” and eagerly anticipating the world’s arrival. I remember feeling an overwhelming since of pride. It was just a great time for the city and I was proud to say that L.A. was my home. It was then that my interest in the Olympics began. Now I watch the games and simply enjoy feeling proud to be an American.

Although the NBA season is over, we will get to watch Kobe and other NBA players representing on the Olympic team. And it will be fun watching track & field, gymnastics, swimming and all the other games. The U.S. team is expected to have over 600 competitors – our largest group ever. I can’t wait.

45 days and counting. . .

You Have A Vote & So Do I

Our fore-parents fought and died so that we would have the right to vote. I do not think for a minute that the purpose of that fight was to ensure that all Black folks would vote for the same candidate(s).

The beauty of having the right to vote is our ability to weigh the pros and cons of the candidates and measure the candidates’ values and beliefs against our own. We go through this process so that we can decide who should get our vote.

Isn’t our right to vote threatened by the “all for one and one for all” --we all must vote for Obama mentality with which non-Obamacans are being hammered ? If we allow ourselves to be bullied into making our voting decisions this way, what will our vote really mean?

MySpace Gangsters

I first heard of MySpace (an online community) about 4 or 5 years ago, when my son was in high school. My son and daughter both created their own MySpace pages. I was so shocked by the boldness of some of the photos and postings of some of their friends that I monitored my kids’ activities on MySpace very closely. I visited their pages regularly to conduct what I called “MySpace raids.” When I saw that strangers were contacting my daughter through MySpace, I made her make her page private – which meant that she could control visitors to her page.

Back in those early days of MySpace I was so concerned about all this information on the Internet for the world to see, that I contacted some of the parents of my children’s friends. I wanted them to know about the kind of photos, information, comments and postings that were out there. Amazingly many of the parents didn’t seem to be concerned at all. I suggested that they check their kid’s pages periodically. A few parents shut their kids down all together, a couple took the time to look at the pages and the rest did nothing.

The message that I continue to reiterate to my children (they are 21 and 16 so I’m using the word children loosely) is that everything on the Internet is public. Even if your page is private -- the information can still be accessed by an untold number of people. I want them to realize that they should be mindful of the image they are portraying through the site.

Some of their friends have inappropriate photos and profanity all over their sites. For some reason MySpace seems to give people a since of power and freedom. People put all their business right on the Internet without reserve.

The other interesting thing about MySpace is that you can really get a feel for who a person really and truly is based on the friends listed and their comments. Association brings about assimilation. How very true is that saying.

In the news the other day was a story about a man in Florida who threatened a police station via MySpace. His threat was there along with his – gun in hand – photo. Fortunately he was arrested before going on his shooting spree.

My son calls MySpace “the devil” and calls people who use MySpace to either catch their boyfriend/girlfriend cheating or to threaten other people “MySpace gangsters”.

I’m especially concerned about young people’s use of MySpace. Kids tend to think they are invincible. Maybe MySpace is still too much of a novelty for people to step back and realize that it can be dangerous. Discretion and prudence are the name of the game.