More Birthday Stuff

It’s tradition in our family for the people celebrating their “un-birthday” (remember that from Alice in Wonderland?) to wake early on the morning of the birthday person’s birthday, tiptoe into his/her room and sing Happy Birthday. So, knowing my early morning schedule, my kids set their alarms for 6 this morning and came into my room singing and bearing gifts. B gave me a big basket from Bath and Body works. L gave me a yellow sun dress. My morning is definitely off to a nice start.

Traditionally on their birthdays I tell them the story of their birth. I tell them about labor and what I thought when I first held them. This morning, they returned the tradition (kind of) by telling me a funny childhood story.

We had some, “Mom, remember the time . .?” moments. L told the story about putting the smooth, pretty rock in her mouth for safe keeping – and swallowing it. I had to take her to emergency and then check her poop for several days afterward looking for that darned rock. There are no limits to the disgusting things a mother will do for her child.

B told the story about the fast little girl who wrote him a love note in elementary school. He showed me the note and I was outraged. My child was only in 4th grade and this little girl was asking about ”getting with him”. I took the note to the principal and the girl was suspended. I had to protect my child from that little Jezebel.

They really made me happy this morning. Because it was so early on a Saturday morning, I fully expected them to sing, drop the gifts and run back to bed. But not only did they spend some time with me this morning (much earlier than they would have liked) L is in the kitchen now making breakfast for me. And, later today we are all going golfing. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Thank God for birthdays! Tomorrow -- back to reality.

45 is Cool!

I’ll be 45 years old tomorrow. That’s absolutely amazing to me. I certainly don’t feel like I thought I’d feel reaching 45. My friends and I often talk about the fact that we still feel like we’re in our 20’s. I’d like to think that I don’t look 45 either.

Of course I must admit that my body constantly reminds me that I am indeed aging. My hair is thinning a little and I can no longer ignore the gray. I have to wear glasses to read when I used to have 20/20 vision. I gain weight much more easily when I used to be a little stick. I have high cholesterol when I used to be able to eat all the ice cream I wanted. It takes a few steps each morning for my legs to “warm up” and not hurt when I walk. I have acid reflux when – well wait a minute -- actually I’ve had that for a while. I have restless leg syndrome but hmmm, well I think I’ve always had that too. They just finally put a name to it. (I guess I can't blame everything on aging.) Anyway, my point is that some things are not working as well as they used to work.

In spite of my body’s little reminders, I have no complaints. Some people dread getting older but each year I seem to get a bit more excited. I feel like I am at a new beginning.

I have one grown child and one almost grown. The thought of my children being grown and gone used to make me sad. I so enjoyed every aspect of raising them and spending time with them that I just felt that my life would be empty without them in the home. But now although I love them more than anything and still enjoy spending time with them, I am looking forward to the “me” time. I often tell them that when they leave my mantra will be “catch me if you can” because I plan to travel like crazy.

Being single and the ultimate introvert, my other concern about getting older used to be that I’d be lonely. But now I think about it and recall that I’ve always been able to be ok all by myself. Even now, armed with a good book, I’d actually prefer being alone.

A friend asked me where I’d like to live if I could live anywhere in the world. I couldn’t narrow it down to one place. I would love to either live abroad or on a sprawling ranch someplace. Either adventure would ensure that I wouldn’t have time to be lonely. These aren’t faraway dreams but definite plans for my future.

In talking about my birthday, my daughter asked me how long I’d like to live. My answer was that I’d like to live long enough to see the success of my children’s children. I did some quick math and determined that would put me right around 85 years old.

But I want to be a spunky, self-sufficient 85 year old. I saw a 100 year old woman celebrating her birthday on the news the other day. People gathered around her to sing and were looking at her and treating her like she was a little girl. And then they added insult to injury by putting a party hat on her head. At some point you seem to get so old that people start treating you like you are a child again. I don’t want to be that kind of old.

This point in my life is exciting indeed. I’m 45 with many accomplishments and wonderful memories behind me but they don’t begin to equal all that I see in my future. I’m not sure what 45 is supposed to feel like but I feel really good. 45 is cool!

Matthew 11:28

For most of her young life, my 16 year old daughter has had frequent nightmares. When she was younger she would wake me whenever she had a nightmare. I would go into her room and sing praise songs with her until she calmed down enough to fall asleep.

I just knew that even though I cannot sing at all, (not even a little bit – I know my limitations) singing praise to God would make satan flee. Of course it could be that he fled because he couldn’t stand my singing. Either way – my singing provided peace for my child. I bought her a ring that said, “Fear Not” at that time too. It was to remind her not to be fearful of anything because God was always with her.

I used to have nightmares fairly often myself but I could always link them to either something that happened during the day or some movie that I had no business watching. I can remember that the movie Jagged Edge (1985 -- Glen Close and Jeff Bridges) was one such movie. If you’ve seen the movie, you know that means it doesn’t take much for me to have nightmares.

Several months ago I noticed that I was having nightmares much more frequently. Some weeks I’d have three or four. It was driving me crazy. I’d wake with a racing heart, a headache and a very tired body.

Last week after having a nightmare several nights in a row I mentioned it to my daughter. I told her that I was getting to the point where I was dreading sleep because the nightmares were always so vivid and lasting.

My daughter told me that a few months prior she had successive nightmares and was so frightened that after having one at about 3AM one morning she got up, went downstairs to get her Bible and took it back to her room with her. She said she read a little, prayed and then put the Bible on her nightstand. She said she purposely put it on her nightstand believing that having the Word close would make a difference. She said she wanted her weapon near. According to my daughter, that was her last nightmare.

She reminded me of what should have been obvious -- I should have talked to God about my nightmares. I think I often feel that some of my issues are too small and that I would be bothering God. It’s really amazing how long it sometimes takes to remember to take all of our burdens, all of our cares and even our nightmares to God.

Scripture says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

Thank you Lord for the rest!!

Obama Dawns. . .

The May 26, 2008 issue of Jet Magazine has an article entitled “Obama Dawns as Democrats’ Hope to Win White House”. Two statements in the article bothered me.

The first statement was “Some within Obama’s camp are especially troubled that many of the Black superdelegates, particularly the African-American members of Congress who make up the Congressional Black Caucus, have been slow to support Obama. In some cases, Black representatives are continuing to actively campaign for Clinton even though Obama handily won their districts.”

OK, I really want to make sure I have this right. Obama’s camp is upset that all of the Black folks are not “getting with the program.” Some have the nerve to continue to campaign for Clinton? (Shame on them!) Because Obama has said it’s over for Clinton, all of her supporters should immediately flock to him? Correction – all of her Black supporters should immediately flock to him? Unbelievable.

The second statement was a quote from Representative David Scott of Georgia, who said, “For the first time, we have a chance to elect a Black person as the next President of the United States. Now’s not the time for us to be divided.”

So, race alone should unite? Can you define “us” for me? For the sake of electing the first Black president – there should not be any division. We don’t care if he is the best person for the job or not. We only care that we have a chance to make history.

I fear that we may never get to a place where every darn thing for Black folks doesn’t boil down to race. Jet’s article reinforced my beliefs that a) the majority of Black folks are voting for Obama simply because he is Black and truly do not care about where he stands on issues or even who he is as a person, and b) most Black folks believe that all Black folks are obligated to vote for Obama.

No thank you. I’m opting out.

All Is Well In Lakerland

I am the biggest Laker Fan. Losing Game 3 to the Spurs was tough. I was hoping for a sweep -- but I am certain they will be back in form tonight. So today it's all about the Lakers. All is well in Lakerland!

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day, so this morning I started thinking about the origin of Memorial Day. (I really do love the Internet!) The US started celebrating Memorial Day shortly after the Civil War to remember those who died in the war, as well as those who survived. A few years later, it was expanded to include not only veterans of all wars (casualties and survivors) but it was to also be a time to remember deceased loved ones.

So, today I decided that I will celebrate Memorial Day in two ways. The first is that I want to remember loved ones who impacted my life in positive ways. These are people that I continue to miss terribly and of whom I have very fond memories. They are:
1. My mother – committed suicide in February 1998.
2. My grandmother – died of Alzheimer’s disease in January 1997.
3. My step-father (who was the only father I ever knew) – died of cancer in June 1996.
4. My dear friend Viv – died of cancer in May 2002.

Secondly, as I think about the word “memorial” it takes me to the word “remember”. And whenever I think of “remembering” something the thing that stands out in my mind is the number of times that God admonishes us to “remember” in the Bible. I pulled out my concordance and counted the word “remember” 148 times. Clearly God really wanted to drill the point home that we must never forget what He has done and what He continues to do for us. He had to tell that to the Children of Israel dozens of time.

With that said, also today, in spite of anything and everything else going on in my life – I will remember all that God has done for me. Memorial Day 2008 has me in praise mode. Thank you Lord – I will remember!