Happy Father’s Day Daddy

My stepfather was a very special man. He is the only father I’ve ever really known, so from this point on I will refer to him here, as I did growing up as my father – "Daddy”.

I didn’t really realize what a special man he was when I was growing up. Like most kids, I only focused on every shortcoming I could possibly identify -- and I kept the list nearby at all times.

There were times he irritated me so much I just wanted him to go away. I can’t even articulate what about him irritated me. If anything, it was probably me just wanting to dislike him as some kind of crazy defense mechanism. After all, he was my sister’s father, and not truly mine. I’ve always been very protective of my heart (even as a child) so I guess I just thought disliking him was safer than openly loving him. Crazy, huh?

Now I remember and appreciate the fact that he really was a funny, loving, generous, caring man who loved my two sisters and me unconditionally and equally. He was Daddy.

My regret (as is often the case) is that I did not get over myself enough to tell him how I felt about him until he was on his death bed. He was literally lying there with only hours left when I finally told him how much I loved him and appreciated him. How I praise God for that opportunity and I am thankful that Daddy heard, understood and acknowledged it.

He did things for us that probably sound minor but really meant a lot. We rode the public bus to junior high and high school, but if it was raining -- 9 times out of 10 Daddy was out front waiting to take us home when school dismissed. Instead of appreciating the ride, my thoughts were, “I sure hope my friends don’t see me getting in the Sanford and Son pickup truck.”

Daddy taught me to drive but instead of appreciating him taking the time, I got annoyed with him for falling asleep while I was at the wheel. He had narcolepsy – a horrible case of it I might add. He’d fall asleep in mid-sentence, in the middle of dinner, driving – you name it and he fell asleep doing it.

Daddy gave us our allowance. I should have appreciated that because I don’t think my mother would have given us an allowance. But it drove me crazy that I started with $14 a week in 9th grade and I was still getting $14 a week in 12th grade. Now I know that $14 was better than no dollars but back then I refused to let it go.

Daddy was very even-tempered and everyone loved him. My mother was the opposite. So in a household of much cussin’ and fussin’ (by my mother) – I should have welcomed his peaceful demeanor.

Daddy took me on my first trip out of the state. We drove to Louisiana. For me, that was the longest, most boring ride and I think my sister and I complained all the way there and all the way home. Sure, I was only 12 but I should have or could have appreciated the vacation.

I could actually go on for quite a while, now that I think about it. Of course he had his faults but he was a good man. He was a good father. And he did whatever he had to do to provide for our family so that my mother would not have to work.

So as my thoughts drift to Sunday, I can say “Happy Father’s Day Daddy” with many cherished memories in mind.

Milestones & Carelessness

My daughter got her driver’s license today. My son is paying a traffic ticket for a running red light today. And I’m trying to figure out how I will manage to continue to pay for both gas and auto insurance.

In this case, reaching a milestone and being careless both have the same bottom line effect -- mo' money, mo' money, mo' money. This ain’t right.

Graduation Observations

I went to the high school graduation for my daughter’s school yesterday. She doesn’t graduate until next year but many of her friends graduated yesterday – so I decided to go. Most graduations are pretty boring to me so I found myself sitting there making silly observations such as:

1. My area must be pretty diverse – there was a good percentage of African, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and Latino names in the graduation program.

2. Reading through the program reminded me that Black folks sure have a “unique” way of naming their children. (I’ll say no more on that subject.)

3. People don’t really dress up to attend graduations anymore. Although the graduation was held at a church, most people were dressed like they were on their way to a picnic.

4. Nobody seems to really pay attention to any of the graduation speeches. That’s really a shame for the speakers.

5. Although the principal said that they would announce a name every 3 seconds to expedite the process (which meant that it should have taken only 21 minutes to call the 423 names) they actually averaged 5 – 6 seconds so it took twice that amount of time. Of course that is the most boring part of a graduation.

6. Although the principal asked that no one use air horns or any other noise-makers during the ceremony, there were 3 or 4 hardheads in the audience.

While I think that graduations are generally very boring – I always get sentimental and cry during the ceremony. Hearing Pomp and Circumstance just does something to me. The most significant observation of the night was that most all of the family and friends in attendance were generally happy and excited.

There was a look of pure joy on the faces of people as they took photos, cheered for their loved ones and just sat waiting to hear their graduates’ names. Watching that excitement actually made my boredom wane. This was the first of what will hopefully be many educational milestones in the lives of the Class of 2008.

Obama-mania

Remember the story of the Pied Piper of Hamelin? The Pied Piper was hired to rid the rat infested town of its critters. When the townspeople reneged on paying the Pied Piper for his services he returned to the town, played his musical pipe and lured all of the children out of the town -- and they were never seen again.

Do you hear music?

James 1:17

1. Salvation
2. My children
3. My family
4. My friends
5. My health
6. My business
7. Things
8. Courage & Strength
9. My upbringing
10. Freedom

I woke up in a bit of a funk this morning thinking of my never-ending, never- completed, ever-growing “to do” list. It's all so daunting. But today is Sunday and if I can’t remember on any other day, surely on Sunday I can remember all that the Lord has done for me. As I often admonish my kids, “I need to get over myself.” I will and simply say, thank you Lord for the many, many blessings – some of which are listed above.

James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Good and perfect gifts -- I have them both. Thank you Lord!