Christmas -- After the fact. . .

My children and I had a quiet Christmas at home. Instead of the traditional turkey dinner, I did the Black Southern thing and cooked gumbo. We ate until we hurt ourselves. That was one of our Christmas highlights.

My 17 year old daughter is not usually an emotional girl but after she opened her gifts on Christmas morning she sat on the floor looking as if she would cry at any moment. Sure enough, as soon as I asked her what was wrong – she burst into tears. My initial thought was that she was disappointed that she didn’t receive a gift she wanted. But she immediately corrected me and said that she was sad that this would likely be her last Christmas living at home because she’s off to college this fall. So, she and I sat and cried together for a few minutes. My how the time just whizzed by. I know it sounds cliché but it does seem that just yesterday she was a little bitty girl who always wanted to sit on my lap.

It’s funny because even though she’s now a 17-year old young woman, she still seems to want to jump right inside my skin. I’m always kidding her about invading my personal space but I will definitely miss her being “in my box” after she leaves. She’s not only been my “road dog” all these years, she’s been my best friend. She’s an incredibly mature young woman and I do wonder what it will be like when she leaves. Oh well, we shall soon find out.

My 22 year old son had some sadness on Christmas also. He was sad because his 3 ½ month old daughter spent Christmas in California with her mom. He sure hated missing her first Christmas.

This young man is one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever known. His compassion is truly one of his most admirable qualities. Yesterday we had a long conversation about various topics. And repeatedly during our conversation he would say things like, “if I had the money, I’d just give it to him” or “how can we help this person?” This child of mine has always been like the person who attracts stray dogs. Not to say that any of his friends are stray dogs but since junior high school he seemed to develop deep friendships with the neediest kids. And he would bring them home assuming that we would be able to do something to help. As a result, he had different friends practically living with us throughout all of his high school years.

Christmas highlighted his compassion all the more. A friend of his came to live with us for what I thought would be a couple weeks in September. Well, a few weeks turned into 3 months. I was so outdone by the extended stay and the extra mouth to feed that I was just flat out annoyed at the sight of his friend. My son did everything in his power to calm me during the 3 months because this friend had already had such a tough life financially that he just wanted him to experience a few months of peace.

I am so incredibly proud of both of my children. As I was sitting crying with my daughter on Christmas, I shed several tears about my son as well. This will also probably be his last Christmas at home. He’s a little slower moving than his sister in terms of being independent but I sense that he will soon be gone.
I do welcome this impending new chapter in my life, but I’m also a little sad that these kiddies of mine grew up so darn fast. I have been completely consumed with raising children for the past 22 years. What will I do with myself now?

Christmas at the White House

HGTV is one of my favorite cable television stations – especially at Christmas time. The past few years they have had a show featuring First Lady Laura Bush at the White House. Mrs. Bush provides a tour of the White House and describes the Christmas decorations, the themes of the various Christmas Trees, the gingerbread house, etc. She also shares the year’s Christmas card, who was commissioned to illustrate it and the story behind it. Being an artsy-craftsy, do-it-yourself kind of girl, I just find the entire tour and all the little back-stories fascinating.

The White House is always so beautifully decorated and Laura Bush always presents herself in such a refined, dignified, “First Lady-ish” manner that the show inspires me. Today I realized that this year will be the last one featuring Laura Bush. Christmas 2009 will feature Michelle Obama.

What will a Michelle Obama Christmas show look like? Michelle Obama strikes me as a woman who will make a graceful, traditional First Lady. I look forward to peeking into the White House for Christmas 2009. I’m sure Michelle Obama will do a grand job. Do you think during the Bush and Obama meeting yesterday, Laura and Michelle discussed Christmas?

Happy 4th!

232 years ago today the Declaration of Independence was adopted -- declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. We have come a long way and while we still have a long way to go -- it still feels good to be an American!

Happy Independence Day!

Happy Father’s Day Daddy

My stepfather was a very special man. He is the only father I’ve ever really known, so from this point on I will refer to him here, as I did growing up as my father – "Daddy”.

I didn’t really realize what a special man he was when I was growing up. Like most kids, I only focused on every shortcoming I could possibly identify -- and I kept the list nearby at all times.

There were times he irritated me so much I just wanted him to go away. I can’t even articulate what about him irritated me. If anything, it was probably me just wanting to dislike him as some kind of crazy defense mechanism. After all, he was my sister’s father, and not truly mine. I’ve always been very protective of my heart (even as a child) so I guess I just thought disliking him was safer than openly loving him. Crazy, huh?

Now I remember and appreciate the fact that he really was a funny, loving, generous, caring man who loved my two sisters and me unconditionally and equally. He was Daddy.

My regret (as is often the case) is that I did not get over myself enough to tell him how I felt about him until he was on his death bed. He was literally lying there with only hours left when I finally told him how much I loved him and appreciated him. How I praise God for that opportunity and I am thankful that Daddy heard, understood and acknowledged it.

He did things for us that probably sound minor but really meant a lot. We rode the public bus to junior high and high school, but if it was raining -- 9 times out of 10 Daddy was out front waiting to take us home when school dismissed. Instead of appreciating the ride, my thoughts were, “I sure hope my friends don’t see me getting in the Sanford and Son pickup truck.”

Daddy taught me to drive but instead of appreciating him taking the time, I got annoyed with him for falling asleep while I was at the wheel. He had narcolepsy – a horrible case of it I might add. He’d fall asleep in mid-sentence, in the middle of dinner, driving – you name it and he fell asleep doing it.

Daddy gave us our allowance. I should have appreciated that because I don’t think my mother would have given us an allowance. But it drove me crazy that I started with $14 a week in 9th grade and I was still getting $14 a week in 12th grade. Now I know that $14 was better than no dollars but back then I refused to let it go.

Daddy was very even-tempered and everyone loved him. My mother was the opposite. So in a household of much cussin’ and fussin’ (by my mother) – I should have welcomed his peaceful demeanor.

Daddy took me on my first trip out of the state. We drove to Louisiana. For me, that was the longest, most boring ride and I think my sister and I complained all the way there and all the way home. Sure, I was only 12 but I should have or could have appreciated the vacation.

I could actually go on for quite a while, now that I think about it. Of course he had his faults but he was a good man. He was a good father. And he did whatever he had to do to provide for our family so that my mother would not have to work.

So as my thoughts drift to Sunday, I can say “Happy Father’s Day Daddy” with many cherished memories in mind.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day, so this morning I started thinking about the origin of Memorial Day. (I really do love the Internet!) The US started celebrating Memorial Day shortly after the Civil War to remember those who died in the war, as well as those who survived. A few years later, it was expanded to include not only veterans of all wars (casualties and survivors) but it was to also be a time to remember deceased loved ones.

So, today I decided that I will celebrate Memorial Day in two ways. The first is that I want to remember loved ones who impacted my life in positive ways. These are people that I continue to miss terribly and of whom I have very fond memories. They are:
1. My mother – committed suicide in February 1998.
2. My grandmother – died of Alzheimer’s disease in January 1997.
3. My step-father (who was the only father I ever knew) – died of cancer in June 1996.
4. My dear friend Viv – died of cancer in May 2002.

Secondly, as I think about the word “memorial” it takes me to the word “remember”. And whenever I think of “remembering” something the thing that stands out in my mind is the number of times that God admonishes us to “remember” in the Bible. I pulled out my concordance and counted the word “remember” 148 times. Clearly God really wanted to drill the point home that we must never forget what He has done and what He continues to do for us. He had to tell that to the Children of Israel dozens of time.

With that said, also today, in spite of anything and everything else going on in my life – I will remember all that God has done for me. Memorial Day 2008 has me in praise mode. Thank you Lord – I will remember!