Being Kee

Rick Warren & The Easter Bunny

2009-04-09T14:11:00.004-05:00

Is it homophobic to stand firm in the Christian belief that marriage should be between one man and one woman? Gays have every right to be gay but should they have the legal right to marry? I just don't think so. But today, Pastor Rick Warren flip-flopped on the issue.

Is it homophobic to invite families in general to the Easter Egg Roll at the White House without specifically sending invitations to gay families? Gay families should certainly be allowed to attend but why should any particular group be singled out to be invited? That's what Obama did this year. Politics . . . I get it.

It truly saddens me the way society is being bullied by the gay community. I absolutely believe that people should be allowed to exercise free will. That's Biblical. God says we can. But we don't have to pretend that what is wrong is right. . .

Bobby Jindal

2009-02-26T13:58:00.003-06:00

I was anxiously anticipating Bobby Jindal’s response to President Obama’s speech on Tuesday night. After only a few minutes I could no longer stomach it and had to change the channel. The look on Jindal's face, his tone of voice, the cadence of his speech – everything was so annoying I couldn’t even “hear” him. The content of his speech may have been 100% on point (I don't know) but if so, his delivery completely detracted from it.

I thought this man was supposed to be ready to “stomp with the big dogs”. If he is the best the Republican Party has to offer – this is a party in trouble for real! I'd like to suggest that we go back to the drawing board . . .

NY Post’s Chimp Cartoon

2009-02-25T10:41:00.002-06:00

I was going to let this one go but it just keeps growing and growing so I guess it’s time for me to chime in. The chimp cartoon, hmmm. . .

I must admit that my initial reaction to it was “wow, so in 2009 we’re still monkeys?” Then I really took some time to think about it and concluded that it is possible that racism was not the theme. It occurred to me that even if Bush was still president the NY Post would have probably published the exact same cartoon. And what would have been the difference then? There would have been no cries of racism, no protests, and no apologies. Politicians are prime targets for ridicule and attack – and the president is no exception. On the contrary, as long as I can remember, the President always seems to be the first target.

So as I continued to think about the uproar over the cartoon I wondered, if we (Black folks) are trying to have it all. We have a Black man as President but we also want our President to now be exempt from cartoons, jokes and other forms of ridicule? Because he is Black, are all jokes about Barack Obama going to be forever scrutinized and run through the racism meter? Give me a break!

And now who once again is at the forefront of the controversy? Al Sharpton – the voice of Black America, the bigotry monitor. Even though the paper and cartoonist have both apologized, Sharpton says it’s not enough. For me, any issue that could have had some validity is made questionable simply by Sharpton’s involvement. (Please just go sit down somewhere and close your mouth!!)

The cartoon was indeed in poor taste – whether racially motivated or not. But as far as I’m concerned the only person deserving an apology is Charla Nash. She sustained horrible injuries and nearly died as a result of the chimp attack. Her life will never be the same. That is absolutely NOT a laughing matter.

Microphones and Cameras

2009-02-06T10:30:00.002-06:00

Things are so different now than they were “back in the day”. Back in the day we didn’t hear about every single, solitary movement of politicians, celebrities and athletes. Today their actions are everywhere. Even if you don’t want to know what they are doing, you know what they are doing. Internet, TV, magazines -- it’s overkill for sure.

While we average citizens are ridiculously obsessed with hearing and seeing more and more about the daily activities of celebrities – what they are doing, when they are doing it and who they are doing it with – these celebrities often appear oblivious to the fact that “we” are watching. Of course I’ll never know for sure but I’d like to think that if I were a celebrity I would think twice before I ever said or did anything. I’d also be very judicious in my selection of “friends”.

So this week we’ve got a couple examples of celebrities forgetting about the cameras and the microphones. Michael Phelps caught on camera smoking marijuana and Etta James talking way too much before a microphone.

It’s been a while since I’ve put anyone on my “Go Sit Down Somewhere and Close Your Mouth List” but I’ve got to put Etta James on it. I must admit that when I saw Beyonnce singing her song at the inauguration, I thought it was strange (and perhaps disrespectful) because James is still among the living but James should have vented her frustration quite differently.

And you Michael? You’ve got one more chance, don’t blow it!

Inauguration Day Show Stoppers

2009-01-23T07:44:00.000-06:00

These girls are just way too cute.

Our 44th President

2009-01-20T09:21:00.003-06:00

We keep hearing it and I must say I feel the same way -- "I never thought I'd live to see the day." My kids asked me a few times over the years, "Do you think there will ever be a Black president?" My quick, canned answer remained, "Not in our lifetime." In spite of my lack of faith in the American people, today Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America. Despite my own personal political views, this is a very emotional and exciting day.

Seeing Michelle Obama at center stage is especially thrilling. I think I've always paid particular attention to First Ladies. I loved Laura Bush and I am already feeling similar admiration for Mrs. Obama. I am certain that she will add her own style, class and dignity to the White House.

Yes, today is a day of celebration but it should also be a day of prayer. Today we party, tomorrow back to reality.

Inaugural Prayers

2009-01-16T10:49:00.001-06:00

There’s been a lot of fuss over the Inaugural prayers and who is being asked to lead them. Obama has asked an openly homosexual bishop to offer a prayer at an inauguration event next week. My mother always told me that “you can’t please everybody” but Obama sure is trying. Asking the Bishop V. Gene Robinson to pray was to satisfy those opposed to the invitation he extended to Pastor Rick Warren. Oh brother!

Anyway, Robinson said that he will not use the Bible and "will be careful not to be especially Christian in my prayer."

So my question is this – when you are being careful to not be “especially Christian”, to whom are you praying? Is that kind of prayer just kind of thrown out there in hopes of being answered by any old god who happens to be available and listening? He can leave me off his prayer list. . .

Christmas -- After the fact. . .

2009-01-09T12:18:00.000-06:00

My children and I had a quiet Christmas at home. Instead of the traditional turkey dinner, I did the Black Southern thing and cooked gumbo. We ate until we hurt ourselves. That was one of our Christmas highlights.

My 17 year old daughter is not usually an emotional girl but after she opened her gifts on Christmas morning she sat on the floor looking as if she would cry at any moment. Sure enough, as soon as I asked her what was wrong – she burst into tears. My initial thought was that she was disappointed that she didn’t receive a gift she wanted. But she immediately corrected me and said that she was sad that this would likely be her last Christmas living at home because she’s off to college this fall. So, she and I sat and cried together for a few minutes. My how the time just whizzed by. I know it sounds cliché but it does seem that just yesterday she was a little bitty girl who always wanted to sit on my lap.

It’s funny because even though she’s now a 17-year old young woman, she still seems to want to jump right inside my skin. I’m always kidding her about invading my personal space but I will definitely miss her being “in my box” after she leaves. She’s not only been my “road dog” all these years, she’s been my best friend. She’s an incredibly mature young woman and I do wonder what it will be like when she leaves. Oh well, we shall soon find out.

My 22 year old son had some sadness on Christmas also. He was sad because his 3 ½ month old daughter spent Christmas in California with her mom. He sure hated missing her first Christmas.

This young man is one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever known. His compassion is truly one of his most admirable qualities. Yesterday we had a long conversation about various topics. And repeatedly during our conversation he would say things like, “if I had the money, I’d just give it to him” or “how can we help this person?” This child of mine has always been like the person who attracts stray dogs. Not to say that any of his friends are stray dogs but since junior high school he seemed to develop deep friendships with the neediest kids. And he would bring them home assuming that we would be able to do something to help. As a result, he had different friends practically living with us throughout all of his high school years.

Christmas highlighted his compassion all the more. A friend of his came to live with us for what I thought would be a couple weeks in September. Well, a few weeks turned into 3 months. I was so outdone by the extended stay and the extra mouth to feed that I was just flat out annoyed at the sight of his friend. My son did everything in his power to calm me during the 3 months because this friend had already had such a tough life financially that he just wanted him to experience a few months of peace.

I am so incredibly proud of both of my children. As I was sitting crying with my daughter on Christmas, I shed several tears about my son as well. This will also probably be his last Christmas at home. He’s a little slower moving than his sister in terms of being independent but I sense that he will soon be gone.
I do welcome this impending new chapter in my life, but I’m also a little sad that these kiddies of mine grew up so darn fast. I have been completely consumed with raising children for the past 22 years. What will I do with myself now?

Someday At Christmas

2008-12-01T09:44:00.003-06:00

I downloaded Christmas songs onto my iPod his weekend. Driving into the office this morning I turned to Stevie Wonder’s Christmas song, “Someday at Christmas” and I soon found myself completely choked up and crying. Of course I’m a big crybaby anyway and will drop a few tears over the smallest events but I was really touched listening to the song.

Someday at Christmas there'll be no tears
All men are equal and no men have fears
One shining moment my heart ran away
From our world today

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

The part about all men being equal made me think of a time not so long ago when my grandmother would tell us about how segregated and racist Los Angeles used to be. (Yes, liberal, anything goes Los Angeles.) She would tell us of her days working as a maid for rich white folks in West Los Angeles and Beverly Hills. She certainly didn’t feel equal back then.

These words especially resonated with me because of the election of Barack Obama as president. While he was not my candidate, I continue to celebrate the historic significance of his impending presidency. I honestly did not think that I would live to see the day so the words “maybe not in time for you and me” made me realize that our country achieved what most of us thought was impossible.

Just look at where we are as a nation today. Sure racism and inequality still exist but look at how far we’ve come. . .

Amazing!

I’ve copied the lyrics to the entire song below. It’s one of my favorites.

Someday at Christmas
Someday at Christmas men won't be boys
Playing with bombs like kids play with toys
One warm December our hearts will see
A world where men are free

Someday at Christmas there'll be no wars
When we have learned what Christmas is for
When we have found what life's really worth
There'll be peace on earth

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

Someday at Christmas we'll see a Man
No hungry children, no empty hand
One happy morning people will share
Our world where people care

Someday at Christmas there'll be no tears
All men are equal and no men have fears
One shinning moment my heart ran away
From our world today

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime

Someday at Christmas man will not fail
Take hope because your love will prevail
Someday a new world that we can start
With hope in every heart

Someday all our dreams will come to be
Someday in a world where men are free
Maybe not in time for you and me
But someday at Christmastime
Someday at Christmastime

Representin’ for the Tall Women

2008-11-19T15:03:00.002-06:00

The average American woman is approximately 5 feet 4 inches. I am 5 feet 8 inches and have always hated my height. Growing up, it was bad enough that I was taller than most of the other girls in school but being taller than many of the boys too made me feel as if all eyes were upon me. I’ve always been introverted, shy and “background prone” so towering over other folks made it difficult for me to do my invisible act.

My second husband was only 5’ 10” (at the most) and looking at him I would have told anyone he was about 5’7”. (Men tend to lie about their height by a minimum of 2 inches.) I invited him over to my house to watch movies as our first date and met him at the door in my socks so I wouldn’t feel taller than him. Even when we went to church together the first few times, I wore the flattest flat shoes I could find. The heels on my wedding shoes were an inch and a half at most. I laugh now at just how self-conscience I was about my height.

I’ve grown (ever so slightly) since then. Now I don’t care as much. I was invited to a Frankie Beverly concert about a year ago with a man who really was about 5’6”. I went and wore 4 inch heels. Yes, I dwarfed him but we had fun and I truly didn’t care about the height difference. I did wonder if he cared though.

I’ve come to realize that I have to either wear heels (real heels) or flats (true flats). Trying to do the in-between thing is conspicuous. When you are tall and wear dress shoes with an inch heel you appear to be saying either “I hate being tall” or “I’m out with a midget today and don’t want it to look like it.”

Today I read that Michelle Obama is 5’11”. That’s exciting to me. Other than models and a couple celebrities you don’t really see tall people in the spotlight. Now we have our future First Lady (tall as can be) on magazine covers, all over the news and the TV.

Although I've seen Michelle Obama do the "in-between heel height" thing more than few times (ugh!), her heels seem to be getting higher. If Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, it looks like Michelle Obama is bringing tall back. She is representin’ for us tall women!!

Obama Trivia

2008-11-18T12:49:00.004-06:00

A friend sent an e-mail today reporting the following bits of trivia about Barack Obama:

• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
• He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketball
• His name means "one who is blessed" in Swahili
• His favorite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini
• He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
• He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
• He has read every Harry Potter book
• He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
• He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream
• His favorite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
• He can speak Spanish
• While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead
• His favorite drink is black forest berry iced tea
• He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn't
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
• He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name
• His favorite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
• He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiancé, but left when a stripper arrived
• His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
• He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
• His favorite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
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• He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee.
• His favorite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
• He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date
• He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
• He doesn't drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol
• He would have liked to have been an architect20if he were not a politician
• As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine
• His daughters' ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7)
• He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside
• He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal
• His house in Chicago has four fire places
• Daughter Malia's godmother is Jesse Jackson's daughter Santita
• He says his worst habit is con stantly checking his Blackberry
• He uses an Apple Mac laptop
• He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300
• He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits
• He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes
• He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21
• His favorite fictional television programs are Mash and The Wire
• He was given the code name "Renegade" by his Secret Service handlers
• He was nicknamed "Bear" by his late grandmother
• He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
• His favorite artist is Pablo Picasso
• His speciality as a cook is chilli
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
• He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life
• His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government

Interesting but I wish there was a tidbit referencing his relationship with Christ.

Pharyn

2008-11-14T14:30:00.002-06:00

My granddaughter . . .

Children change your life in unimaginable ways.

Thank you Lord!

Christmas at the White House

2008-11-11T09:47:00.003-06:00

HGTV is one of my favorite cable television stations – especially at Christmas time. The past few years they have had a show featuring First Lady Laura Bush at the White House. Mrs. Bush provides a tour of the White House and describes the Christmas decorations, the themes of the various Christmas Trees, the gingerbread house, etc. She also shares the year’s Christmas card, who was commissioned to illustrate it and the story behind it. Being an artsy-craftsy, do-it-yourself kind of girl, I just find the entire tour and all the little back-stories fascinating.

The White House is always so beautifully decorated and Laura Bush always presents herself in such a refined, dignified, “First Lady-ish” manner that the show inspires me. Today I realized that this year will be the last one featuring Laura Bush. Christmas 2009 will feature Michelle Obama.

What will a Michelle Obama Christmas show look like? Michelle Obama strikes me as a woman who will make a graceful, traditional First Lady. I look forward to peeking into the White House for Christmas 2009. I’m sure Michelle Obama will do a grand job. Do you think during the Bush and Obama meeting yesterday, Laura and Michelle discussed Christmas?

Thank you President Bush

2008-11-10T10:53:00.001-06:00

There are lists and blogs and articles and editorials about the awful presidency of George W. Bush. He was especially dogged during this presidential election – by both Democrats and Republicans. While he certainly made some serious mistakes and I didn’t agree with all of his decisions – it is sad that the main (and possibly only) thing that anyone will remember about President Bush is the war in Iraq.

Whatever your personal opinions about George W. Bush, he must have done at least one or two things right because he was re-elected in 2004. He served our country in the most demanding, highly scrutinized and difficult job in the world. The citizens of this country owe him a simple “thank you” if nothing else.

As we move forward and begin to support and pray for our new president – let’s not fail to thank and continue to pray for our outgoing president. Thank you President Bush!

Proposition 8 -- California

2008-11-05T15:09:00.003-06:00

My home state got it right. Californians passed Proposition 8 yesterday. Proposition 8 eliminates the right of same-sex couples to marry.

Great job Cali! This will be a continued war for sure but every battle victory on this issue should be celebrated.

President Obama

2008-11-05T12:47:00.001-06:00

Congratulations to Barack Obama!

Pray

2008-11-04T08:05:00.002-06:00

No matter how you are voting (or have voted) today -- please remember to pray for Barack Obama and his family. There remain people in this country who would rather go to jail or even die than to accept a Black man as President.

Racism is alive and well and living in every state, city and neighborhood. Let's pray that the Obama family does not become a victim of the ugliest display of racism.

Let's all pray for their safety. Then let's continue to pray for our nation.

Lord help. . .

I Can Only Imagine – Part II

2008-11-03T12:35:00.000-06:00

So what might an Obama presidency look like?

With Obama in the White House, Black folks will have a direct and private line to the President of the United States. We will finally have someone in the White House who will make significant, positive changes in minority communities. We will have change beyond anything we could ever imagine.

With Obama in the White House our financial woes will be no more. He will make sure that all of the “little people” are not only heard but paid. Obama (the Robin Hood of “The Hood.”) will right all that is wrong with the world. President Obama will create peace on earth and good will toward all men. There will be hope at last for all the people who have been forgotten over the last 8 years.

I swear – this is what I hear on Black radio every day! Comical ain’t it?

I Can Only Imagine

2008-11-01T11:32:00.002-05:00

What might a Barack Obama victory look like? Black radio and TV stations are absolutely working themselves into a frenzy with anticipation. Black folk know how to party and an Obama victory will have “us” literally dancing in the streets. Honestly, the history making aspect of it makes me proud as well.

For the first time in American history there will be an opportunity for Black folks to celebrate a significant event -- simultaneously. Not even the freeing of the slaves could have been as momentous (in terms of a collective celebration) because the news of freedom was spread so slowly. It will be a celebration like nothing we have ever seen.

Democrat or Republican, pro-Obama or pro-McCain – no matter how you vote, if Obama wins, I believe (at least initially) every Black person in America will celebrate the extraordinary moment. Just a few short years ago I said that I did not think there would be a Black president in my lifetime. And now, it’s a real possibility – even an eventuality.

But OK, Black folks, after the celebration be mindful of the fact that the excuses that we’ve used for so very long will no longer be valid. Hopefully we will begin to look to ourselves for solutions. Hopefully we will begin to accept responsibility for our own “stuff”. No longer will we be able to point to that obscure “man” as the reason for our continued struggles. If Obama wins – “the man” will be one of us.

Pagophagia

2008-10-22T15:21:00.001-05:00

Growing up my mother often told stories of me to standing in my crib, peeling the paint off the walls and eating it. She also said as a toddler I would go outside, put my hand into the gopher holes (my grandmother’s yard was full of them) and grab a handful of dirt to eat.

My own memories of craving the unusual go back to elementary school. I seemed to always have an ice cube in my mouth. Over the years the “ice thing” has grown increasingly worse. I crave ice like crazy – all the time.

My second husband hated the sound of my ice crunching so much that I was banished to the garage to eat it – as if going outside for a cigarette or something. I am so used to it and so close to it that I can’t tell but the sound of it must be incredibly loud and annoying. People mention the sound even when I don’t even realize I’m eating ice.

Several years ago I was told that the craving was a symptom of anemia. I’ve been so diagnosed several times throughout my lifetime and consequently prescribed iron to address it. But, for whatever reason, I’d rather eat ice than take iron.

This disorder is called Pica. Pica is defined as a medical disorder characterized by an appetite for largely non-nutritive substances or an abnormal appetite for some things that may be considered foods, such as food ingredients (e.g., flour, raw potato, starch, ice cubes).

OK, confession time -- my cravings go a bit further than ice. I actually crave the smell of rubber – as in rubber tires. I can stay in the tire section of a store forever, just sniffing away. Tennis shoes often have the same scent and I love it. (Go ahead and laugh.)

Today I was thinking about my cravings and decided to do some research. According to all I’ve read, both the ice and rubber issues are tied to my iron deficiency. I find it fascinating that the human body responds to deficiencies in this way.

Today I learned that Pagophagia is the name for craving ice specifically. So now when people are annoyed by the sound of my ice crunching I can tell them I can’t help it. I suffer from pagophagia.

A Black Republican Chick

2008-10-17T15:57:00.003-05:00

I’ve avoided writing about anything political in a while because all of this has just been so draining. This is probably a tough time for Republicans in general, but to be Black and Republican is a truly test of my resolve and convictions.

CNN had James T. Harris on a few days ago. He is the Black man who dared to stand and show support for McCain at a McCain rally. Sadly, he has been called an Uncle Tom and totally vilified by the Black community because he is bold enough to stand by his conservative principles. It’s that continuing expectation – all Black people must vote for Barack Obama. Should someone dare to support the McCain/Pallin ticket they are considered out of touch, a traitor, ignorant, trying to be White or a “suck up”. It’s just all so tiring I’m just about ready to cry.

A close friend (knowing that I am Republican and will not be voting for Obama) challenged me about the intelligence of Sarah Pallin the other day. It was disguised as a joke but the tone really bothered me.

My daughter nearly walked out of her Sunday school class last week because the leader brought up the election and everyone (except my daughter) jumped on the Obama bandwagon. She literally begged them to return to the lesson but they refused.

Many of my neighbors have McCain/Pallin signs in their front yards. I was thinking of putting one up too but my aunt will be here next week –visiting from California – and I just don’t want to deal with her response.

My sisters and I speak regularly but it is as if the presidential race is not even taking place. We dare not speak of it. How I wish that we could simply agree to disagree. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. It would definitely get ugly if we were to talk politics.

So with all of this in mind I’ve just not been in the mood to write about politics – especially considering the fact McCain is losing in the polls. A line in a song from the movie Hustle and Flow goes, “you know it’s hard out here for a pimp”. For some reason every time I think of this battle I sing to myself, “you know it’s hard our here for a Black Republican chick”. :-)

Euro

2008-10-16T15:49:00.003-05:00

I failed to post a photo of Euro. I'd hate for her to feel slighted. We named her Euro because my daughter objected to naming her Dollar. :-) The costs associated with having a pet add up very quickly!

But isn't she cute?

Calgon Take Me Away

2008-10-15T09:55:00.002-05:00

This is the point in my life where the entrepreneur, mother, Christian and concerned American in me are all taking big chunks of my time and energy. This past month has been a whirlwind and November promises to be more of the same. I can hardly believe that it’s been a month since I’ve written anything. Where did the time go?

Well, on September 7th we bought a puppy -- a mini-schnauzer named Euro. On September 8th my son’s childhood friend moved in with us. On September 9th my first grandchild (Pharyn) was born. In mid-September I decided that I needed larger offices for my business and began the search. I found the perfect office a few days later and we are moving next week. My daughter’s 17th birthday is this October 26th and I am shopping for a used car as a gift. When I add the election and the financial crisis to the mix – Calgon take me away!

Today I was “inspired” to write when someone emailed the picture above to me. I think it absolutely hits the nail on the head. Obama is seen as some type of superhero coming to save the nation. The problem with that view of course, is that this is not a movie. Or, as Jay-Z puts it, “this ain’t a movie dawg”

OJ

2008-09-15T13:45:00.001-05:00

OJ Simpson’s trial for armed robbery began today in Las Vegas. OJ should have taken his not-guilty verdict and headed for the hills. He should have been laying so low people would have to strain to remember his face. But no, instead he has remained in the news, he’s been on TV, he’s “written books” and most recently (allegedly) taken part in a robbery.

Now OJ is facing robbery charges. His actual involvement is irrelevant, he is almost certain to be found guilty. That big red target on his back has finally been bulls-eyed.

The Black community may have celebrated his not-guilty verdict 13 years ago (even though deep down I think we all felt he was guilty), but he has now even worn Black folks down. I think the entire country just wants OJ to go away.

I’m putting him on my list with Jesse Jackson, Phil Gramm and Omarosa. . .

Pharyn Victoria

2008-09-10T10:31:00.004-05:00

My precious, first grandchild was born at 12:17 yesterday afternoon. She was 6 weeks early but still weighed in at 6 pounds, 14 ounces! She is beautiful and healthy. Thank you Lord!!

So now you understand why I've been MIA. . .

Republican National Convention Notes

2008-09-04T10:08:00.004-05:00

There’s really not much that I can add to all of the accolades that Sarah Palin has received for yesterday’s speech. It was informative, challenging and forthright. I loved her “I’m stompin’ with the big dogs” demeanor. Thus far, she is the highlight of the entire convention. I like her.

On the other hand, I could have done without Rudy Giuliani. His speech was so abrasive it grated on my nerves. He just sounded mean, vindictive and angry to me. Not the best way to woo voters. I had to change the channel on Rudy.

Lastly, I simply have to comment on the lack of diversity among the delegates. I read that minorities make up 13% of the delegation at the convention. I think that number may be more accurately reported simply as 13. And, it seemed as if the cameramen were trying really hard to pick out the Black folks in the audience but were hard-pressed to find any in attendance.

I was watching the convention yesterday with a Democrat. I was thinking what he immediately voiced, “it’s all White folks”. I’ll say about the Republicans’ efforts to reach out to Black people what I just said about Rudy Giuliani – “not the best way to woo (Black) voters”

It’s no wonder Black folks are wary of Republicans. It doesn’t appear that they have invited us in. I suppose for most Blacks it is a whole lot more comfortable to be with the Democrats. At least there they know that they won’t be alone. As the adage goes, “there is (perceived) safety in numbers.”

I know that Black folks play a big part in this as they’ve not even considered the Republican Party as a viable option. But it is still shameful. The Republican Party must address this issue in 2012!

In The News

2008-09-02T16:26:00.001-05:00

Hurricane Gustav, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol and the Republican National Convention – wow, these last few days have been quite a whirlwind. There’s been room for little else in the news.

I was very excited about John McCain’s choice for a running mate. I had actually read about Sarah Palin a few months ago and was very impressed. I was reading about her and whispering “you go girl” to myself.

It is true that she lacks foreign policy experience but so did Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. Though they lacked foreign policy experience they ran for president and they each continue to be loved and lauded by their respective parties as great and effective presidents. Everyone keeps crying for change – Sarah Palin may help to facilitate that change.

A couple days after learning that Sarah Palin was chosen as McCain’s running mate, we learned that her 17 year old daughter, Bristol, is pregnant. My heart goes out to that family. The pregnancy alone would be a difficult situation for the average family to handle -- but for the Palin’s to have to deal with the pregnancy, presidential race and the media scrutiny simultaneously? My prayers are with them all.

Hurricane Gustav threatened to be, as Mayor Nagin put it, “the mother of all storms”. I am thankful that Gustav’s bark was worse than his bite. While there was significant damage in the area, it wasn’t nearly as bad as predicted. Thank you Lord.

During his sermon yesterday, my Pastor went off topic and asked, “Isn’t it funny that the only thing that could ruin the Republican Convention would be an act of God and then here comes Hurricane Gustav?” Celebratory clapping and laughter followed his rhetorical question. My daughter and I gave each other “the eye” and fidgeted uncomfortably hoping that he would quickly wrap up his political rant. I attend a very small Black church and as Black folks typically do, my Pastor assumed that everyone in the congregation was a Democrat. I was very offended and am actually still trying to decide if I should say anything to him about the incident.

Well, in spite of Gustav, the Republican National Convention goes on – albeit with an abbreviated schedule. What I really want to ask my Pastor is how he knows it wasn’t satan trying to ruin the convention!

DNC Final Day -- Barack Obama

2008-08-29T09:25:00.002-05:00

Last night featured Barack Obama – the Democratic nominee himself. After his speech Michelle, their two little girls and Barack Obama all held hands and walked out to the front of the stage. With music blaring and streamers flying they smiled and waved to the crowd. As a Black American, it was a very proud moment for me. This beautiful Black family was presented to the world. That presentation was not a Democratic or Republican moment. It was an American moment. It was a moment to be especially relished by Black America. It was a moment that clearly signifies that while we as a people still have a long way to go to achieve true equality – we have also come a very long way. It is enormously profound.

The dichotomy between being proud of the accomplishments of this Black man and voting for someone else is what I kept thinking about last night. I don’t agree but I do understand how so many Black people are caught up in the emotion and historic significance of it all.

I tried very hard last night to focus on the words in Barack Obama’s speech. It is almost natural to hear to a speech but not really listen to what is being said – so I really concentrated. Aside from the expected McCain bashing, I heard several contradictions and vague promises. From a personal standpoint, his beliefs and values remain at odds with mine. Like the other speeches of the week, Obama’s failed to move me.

Alright GOP, your turn. You'd better come with it. . .

Love Train

2008-08-27T21:02:00.001-05:00

I'm watching the Democratic National Convention highlights right now. Can someone help me understand why they sang the O'Jays song "Love Train" afte making Obama's nomination official? I could be slow, but I don't get it.

Hillary Clinton

2008-08-27T13:07:00.002-05:00

Hillary Clinton was the yesterday’s headliner at the Democratic National Convention. Hillary fans should have been pleased with her speech. I was actually amused and even got a chuckle out of a couple of her comments. Yes, she delivered a few successful jabs.

Her “No way. No how. No McCain” line was a good one. It was low but cute. That line is certain to be incorporated into the Obama campaign.

The thought provoking question posed to her followers was clever and bold -- “Were you in this campaign just for me?” I’m sure most of her staunch supporters are on the Obama bandwagon now.

I can only imagine what’s in store tonight and tomorrow. The Republicans are going to have to “come with it” next week. I hope they are taking thorough and complete notes. As the kids would say, “it’s on and poppin’ now!”

One last gratuitous comment -- orange is my favorite color but I was not feeling Hillary's suit. Can politicians be nominated for the show "What Not to Wear?". Enough with the loud pant-suits already. Stacy and Clinton, she needs you. . .

Michelle Obama

2008-08-26T17:02:00.003-05:00

I, like many Americans, watched Michelle Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention last night. She was pretty, her hair was perfect and she was very articulate. I had, however, hoped to learn at least a little more about the Obama family. It just all sounded so boring, rehearsed and even a bit defensive.

Mrs. Obama is an intelligent Black woman and of that I am proud. But as far as Barack Obama as president – I heard nothing compelling.

As a basketball fan, I found it very interesting that her brother is a basketball coach. He and his sister clearly love one another. And as for their girls – they are absolutely adorable.

Great American family? Yes. First family? We shall see. . .

Obama/Biden on Abortion

2008-08-25T11:00:00.004-05:00

I'm in the research stage where Joe Biden is concerned and am taking the issues one at a time -- beginning with abortion. I prefer Biden's position on abortion over Obama's. See below:

Biden On Abortion
• Accepts Catholic church view that life begins at conception. (Apr 2007)
• Supports partial-birth abortion ban, but not undoing Roe. (Apr 2007)
• Voted YES on banning partial birth abortions. (Oct 1999)
• Rated 36% by NARAL, indicating a mixed voting record on abortion. (Dec 2003)

Obama On Abortion
• Undecided on whether life begins at conception. (Apr 2008)
• Voted against banning partial birth abortion. (Oct 2007)
• Rated 100% by NARAL on pro-choice votes in 2005, 2006 & 2007. (Jan 2008)

More comparisons to come. . .

Jamaica

2008-08-18T14:37:00.003-05:00

It started Saturday when Jamaica's Usain "Lightening" Bolt ran 100 meters in 9.69 seconds -- faster than anyone ever before. (It may have actually been Sunday in China. The time change has me all confused.)

Then female Jamaican sprinters put a huge exclamation point on Jamaica's speed by sweeping the 100 meters. Shelly-Ann Fraser took the gold, Kerron Stewart took the silver and lastly Sherone Simpson won the bronze.

Go on Jamaica with your bad self. I ain't mad at ya!!

He Kexin

2008-08-14T14:48:00.007-05:00

They say that China's little gymnast, He Kexin, may really be 13 years old -- and therefore too young to have "legally" participated in the Olympics. Well, it is obvious that she's not 16 but I even question 13. She is clearly a "little kid".

Shame on you China! It's understood that you will likely get away with it -- but don't insult the world's intelligence.

Michael Phelps

2008-08-13T13:36:00.004-05:00

Michael Phelps? That boy is bad!

I used to think that the world's greatest athlete was either Tiger Woods or Kobe Bryant. Now I'm not so sure. Watching Michael Phelps swim and win medal after medal and break record after record has been absolutely incredible.

He is unquestionably the highlight of the XXIX Olympiad!

Bernie Mac

2008-08-09T09:40:00.008-05:00

I just learned the shocking news that comedian, Bernie Mac, died this morning. I am saddened beyond words. There was something so incredibly unique about Bernie Mac. Maybe it was the combination of his tone of voice, facial expressions and demeanor -- but he was one of my favorites. Just the sight of Bernie Mac used to make me laugh.

I grew up in a home where profanity was the norm. While it's not necessarily right, it was the profanity that often made what would ordinarily be a dry comment a funny one. My family members had a talent for making people laugh in just the way they used four-letter words. Although it provided entertainment I think hearing it so much is the reason I don't use profanity today.

Bernie Mac possessed that familiar talent. As a Christian, I guess I should be embarrassed to say that I was entertained by the language, but I'm not. It was the way I grew up and as long as it isn't vulgar or sexual, it really was humorous.

Bernie Mac's comedy however, definitely went beyond the shock value of profanity. He was just down right funny. His show was funny. Simply hearing him talk was funny. Watching him walk was funny. He was a very, very talented man in many ways.

When I heard the news of his passing this morning I woke my kids up to tell them. They both (even my "no tears" daughter) welled up with sadness and disbelief.

This is a very sad day. Bernie Mac will truly be missed. My prayers are with his family, personal friends and many fans.

I hope he knew the Lord.

The Olympics and China

2008-08-08T09:44:00.003-05:00

The Opening Ceremony for the Olympics was held today. The next couple weeks are certain to be exciting. (Go Team USA!)

While watching the events, let’s remember to pray for the athletes and pray for those who are being persecuted in China. The religious freedom and human rights that we take for granted here in the United States, are not rights enjoyed by the Chinese.

God can be glorified through these Olympic games. Enjoy and pray. . .

L.A. Is A Nice Place To Visit -- But I'm Glad I No Longer Live There

2008-08-06T14:35:00.005-05:00

Last week as I was flying into Los Angeles, they experienced a 5.4 earthquake. When I landed my son, daughter and I all received numerous text messages from family and friends alerting us about the earthquake. My immediate thought was “oh no, that means we will feel the aftershocks.”

Having grown up in Los Angeles, I’ve experienced a number of earthquakes through the years. Even with that said, earthquakes always have and continue to terrify me. There’s something about that loud rumbling sound and unexpected shaking that frightens me like nothing else.

Earthquakes – another reason I’m glad I left L.A.

TGIF

2008-08-01T18:05:00.001-05:00

I've been working in Los Angeles and have really missed writing. I will be back on schedule next Tuesday.

See you then. . .

(Hmmm, I wonder if I've been missed.)

1 Timothy 4:10

2008-07-24T14:26:00.004-05:00

A woman in Massachusetts committed suicide this week just over an hour prior to a scheduled auction for her home. She was losing her home and could not handle the stress of it. Although she was married, she was responsible for handling the family’s finances. She didn’t share the money troubles or pending foreclosure with anyone – not even her husband.

My mother, after nearly 30 years of being completely financially dependent upon her husband, lost him in 1996 to cancer. A few months later her youngest daughter (my sister) was given a life sentence for forging a check for $146 under California’s Three Strikes Law. Shortly thereafter, she lost her best friend (my grandmother) to Alzheimer’s disease. Later that year she lost her daughter (me) to marriage to a man that she despised. (With good reason.)

Feeling alone, frightened and hopeless my mother committed suicide in Februrary 1998. The Massachusetts woman’s story reminded me of my mother’s story because, like her, my mother did not share her stress, her loneliness, her worries, her fears, nor her financial troubles with anyone.

Also like the Massachusetts woman, my mother told us all about the things that pushed her into that hopeless state in her suicide note. We found out too late.

People say that suicide is a selfish act. I suppose I understand that assessment but I have never thought of it that way. It just saddens me. It saddens me that they felt no hope.

No matter how difficult or unbearable or bleak things may feel, we always have hope when we have Christ. More than anything I regret that I did not have the opportunity to help my mother understand or to feel His hope.

1 Timothy 4:10 -- "For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers".

Please. . .

2008-07-23T15:10:00.003-05:00

I really hate contributing to the extension of this woman’s 15 minutes of fame, but seeing the video compelled me to add another name to my “Go sit down somewhere and close your mouth list”. Omarosa, take a seat between Jesse Jackson and Phil Gramm.

M.I.A.

2008-07-22T11:17:00.010-05:00

It’s been a week since I’ve posted anything. I apologize, I was on vacation last week and am just now getting back into the swing of things. Above are a few photos to explain the absence. Boston and up the coast to Maine -- beautiful. . .

99th Annual NAACP Convention

2008-07-16T08:21:00.002-05:00

Senator John McCain will be speaking at the NAACP Convention today. I pray McCain's words will make a difference.

William Philip "Phil" Gramm

2008-07-11T13:13:00.004-05:00

My how my “Please Go Sit Down Somewhere And Close Your Mouth List” is growing. Today I’ve added Phil Gramm.

During the course of presidential campaigns we have come to expect the candidates and their supporters to do and say dumb things. And, we know that the media eagerly reports each and every misspoken word. Knowing that we live in a world addicted to gossip and/or news – whether concerning politicians, celebrities or athletes – you’d think that these same people would be discerning in choosing their words.

Now we have Phil Gramm with the microphone. On Wednesday he unapologetically called Americans who are having financial struggles “whiners”.

These are the stupid comments that give so many Americans the impression that the Republican Party is only for the elite. While Gramm may not be hurting financially or otherwise, money (or lack thereof) is a real and critical issue for many of us. Trivializing what people are feeling the way he did just widens the gulf between Republicans and Black folks.

Mr. Gramm, please take a seat in the corner next to Jesse Jackson.

I Agree With Obama On This One

2008-07-10T12:55:00.008-05:00

There’s a group of people that I wish would just go sit down somewhere and close their mouths. I won’t name them all – but Jesse Jackson is at the top of the list.

Last Sunday Jesse Jackson was overheard on a live microphone saying that Barack Obama talks down to Black people. He also made a couple other stupid comments that I don’t care to repeat. Of course he has apologized to Obama but his comments were very telling – we were allowed yet another peek under the mask.

When Jackson was asked to explain his comments he said that "My appeal was for the moral content of his message to not only deal with the personal and moral responsibility of black males, but to deal with the collective moral responsibility of government and the public policy which would be a corrective action for the lack of good choices that often led to their irresponsibility.'' Jackson's response is truly a bunch of gibberish.

I’m with Obama on this one. In the speech that started all of this (given at a Black church) Obama said, ''There's a reason why our families are in disrepair," Obama said in a Father's Day speech at Apostolic Church of God on Chicago's South Side. "And some of it has to do with a tragic history, but we can't keep on using that as an excuse. Too many fathers are AWOL, missing from too many lives and too many homes. They've abandoned their responsibilities. They're acting like boys instead of men."

We have to stop placing the blame for all of our woes on everyone else and we have to stop looking to everyone else to help us. We have to look to ourselves for the answers. We’ve already waited far too long for solutions, answers, jobs, happiness, money and peace to come from White folks and/or the Government. Been there, done that, not happening. . .

So, Barack Obama, while you have a captive audience I hope you will continue to encourage personal responsibility.

As my grandmother used to say, “Stop him when he starts lying.”

Still A Woman

2008-07-08T15:44:00.002-05:00

Thomas Beattie, formerly known as Tracy Lagondino, had a baby girl last month. So, in case you had any doubts, now you know for sure. It doesn’t matter how much cutting, snipping, hacking, installing, medicating or whatever else a doctor does – only God determines gender. Thomas remains a woman.

Looking at the photo of a pregnant Thomas posing as a man makes me really sad. I feel sad for her and her confusion and sad for her daughter. How unfair and selfish to add a child to the confusion. How will Thomas even begin to explain the conception and birth to the child?

“Men” having babies in 2008? What in the world will 2018 bring? Scary thought, huh?

Ugh!

2008-07-07T16:31:00.005-05:00

The Republican Party seems to be preparing for some kind of showdown during the GOP Convention this year. John McCain's position on several key issues differs from traditional Republican Party views. Honestly, his position on several issues differs from mine as well.

I am so tired of choosing to whom to give my vote simply by deciding who is least offensive to me, my morals and values. While I sincerely question Obama's experience and qualifications to hold the most important position in the land -- McCain is nothing to jump and shout about either. I still don't understand how he won the nomination but he's the best we've got in the race -- for me.

Again, it just comes down to identifying the lesser of two evils. Man, I hate that!

Happy 4th!

2008-07-04T13:18:00.002-05:00

232 years ago today the Declaration of Independence was adopted -- declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. We have come a long way and while we still have a long way to go -- it still feels good to be an American!

Happy Independence Day!

Poor Little Isabella

2008-07-02T16:23:00.003-05:00

I've been really busy with work without much time to write -- or read. I did, however, read an interesting article today and wanted to share it.

Click here to read the first article.

And here's the Washington Post's take on it.
Click here to read.

We know that things will get a lot worse before they get better.

Forgiveness

2008-06-30T12:23:00.006-05:00

I had a "falling out" with the woman who redesigned the website for my business. She is the same person who designed the website for my church and she was referred to me by my Pastor.

In addition to redesigning the website, she became the new host for our site. We had multiple problems with the service and those problems came to a head last week with a flurry of emails. It ended with her shutting my site and email down and me scrambling to find someone to quickly redesign my site and set up new email accounts.

I won’t provide all the details but I was so upset with the woman that I put a big red X over her in my mind. I never wanted to see or speak to her again and I had every intention of filing a lawsuit against her.

We had a women’s conference at my church on Saturday and unbeknownst to me, she was invited. When she arrived, we both looked surprised, offered nervous smiles and proceeded to avoid further eye or physical contact. I determined in my mind that I would just pretend that she did not exist.

The conference program started with praise and worship. I stood in the back of the room enjoying the opportunity to praise God. Hands lifted, I joined in the singing when the overwhelming sense of conviction began to set in. It was as if God was saying, “Stop it right now. I’m not even trying to hear you until you reconcile with your sister.” I tried to ignore God for a minute but God can be very persistent. He simply would not allow it and I knew that all the singing in the world would not give me any peace.

I went over to her, whispered in her ear and asked her if she would come outside with me. She gave me the "look of death" and said, “No”. I asked her again and asked that she trust me. She relented.

We went outside and I just gave her a hug and she started to cry. We started to cry. I apologized and it was if a giant weight lifted. God was pleased. Honestly, I don’t remember if she apologized to me too. It didn’t even matter at that point. I just knew that I needed to apologize. That’s all it took – all was well.

God has been dealing with me on the issue of forgiveness since my divorce in 2002. My ex-husband has never apologized to me for anything he did during our marriage. He has never acknowledged any wrongdoing. As much as I have tried to forgive this man – I know in my heart that I haven’t. I can’t seem to forgive him because he has never apologized. Instead all I want is to be able to witness it when God “gets him” for all he did to me and my children.

I know that Scripture tells us to forgive – period. We are not to forgive only if someone asks for forgiveness. We are simply to forgive, just as God forgives us. (Thank you Lord.)

What happened on Saturday shows me that it is in me to forgive. I just need to figure out how to use Saturday’s experience as a precursor to offering unconditional forgiveness to anyone and everyone – even my ex.

Pray for me. . .

AFL-CIO

2008-06-26T14:38:00.004-05:00

The following headline caught my eye on CNN’s website today, “AFL-CIO supports Obama”.

What a surprise!

The BET Awards

2008-06-25T09:08:00.006-05:00

I watched the BET Awards with my daughter last night. It contained the predictable mix.

1. Sagging pants rap performances – I just wanted to reach into the television and pull those pants up. That urge was especially strong when Nelly performed. I actually like him (in general) but his pants just drove me crazy.
2. Comedy -- D.L. Hughley was the host and I have to say – he was not very funny but hosting an awards show has to be a difficult job.
3. Dancers – Chris Brown and Ciara were really good but there was a really awkward ending to their dance routine. I couldn’t figure it out and I sensed that they couldn’t either because they just walked off the stage without punctuation.
4. Arrogance – Kanye West. Need I say more?
5. Awards to music legends -- This year those awards went to Quincy Jones and Al Green – neither of whom seemed prepared with a speech. It was kind of sad listening to them ramble.
6. Gratuitous Political Pitches – "Vote for Obama" was repeated ad nauseam.

In spite of it all, for the most part the show was entertaining.

Of course a Black awards show would be incomplete without a Gospel performance. Marvin Sapp was the performer of the hour (actually the show was 3 hours). He sang his song “Never Would Have Made It”.

While I was watching the show, I was also working on my laptop. So, while Marvin Sapp was singing I had my head down and away from the television. All of a sudden I heard my daughter say, “Are you serious? For real? You’ve got to be kidding me. What? Subliminal messages now?”

I looked up and while Marvin Sapp was singing, a large photo of Barack and Michelle Obama was projected behind him. The words to his song are about only having “made it” because of Christ (I always assumed he was speaking of Christ anyway). So was the message that we never could have made it without Barack Obama? Or was the message that Barack Obama never could have made it without Christ? Or was the message that “we” have a chance to “make it” because of Barack Obama? Or was it simply vote for Obama?

What could have been a meaningful time of praise and worship to Christ was turned into a political message. I was confused and offended.

So now you may wonder how or why I found the show entertaining with everything else I’ve said about it. Hmmm, good question.

Call to Renewal

2008-06-24T16:21:00.002-05:00

Barack Obama’s comparing of James Dobson with Al Sharpton is all over the news today. It was two years ago but I was still curious enough to read the entire text of his “Call to Renewal” speech. It was about 13 pages long but I thought it was important to read it all so I would not be guilty of clinging to a simple sound- bite.

Obama said, “And even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson’s or Al Sharpton's? Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our bibles. Folks haven't been reading their bibles.”

I’m not quite sure how James Dobson got into the mix where teaching Christianity is concerned, but I could let that silly comparison go. What was even more ridiculous was Obama's quoting of laws from the Old Testament.

So my question is, who exactly is your Jesus Barack Obama? And what exactly did he die for?

Romans 7:6 says, “But now we have been released from the Law, having died to that by which we were bound, so that we serve in newness of the Spirit and not in oldness of the letter”.

Galatians 2:16 says, “nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified.”

Barack Obama, it appears that it is you who hasn't been reading the Bible.

Games of the XXIX Olympiad

2008-06-23T14:45:00.003-05:00

The Lakers lost the championship and Tiger is out for the rest of the year so my sports focus has turned to the Olympics. August 8th is the date and Beijing is the place. The slogan for the 2008 Olympics is "One World, One Dream". I suppose we do all have that same dream of winning.

I remember when the Summer Olympics were held in Los Angeles in 1984. It was truly a magical and exciting time for Angelinos. The city was all “dressed up”, “decked out” and eagerly anticipating the world’s arrival. I remember feeling an overwhelming since of pride. It was just a great time for the city and I was proud to say that L.A. was my home. It was then that my interest in the Olympics began. Now I watch the games and simply enjoy feeling proud to be an American.

Although the NBA season is over, we will get to watch Kobe and other NBA players representing on the Olympic team. And it will be fun watching track & field, gymnastics, swimming and all the other games. The U.S. team is expected to have over 600 competitors – our largest group ever. I can’t wait.

45 days and counting. . .

You Have A Vote & So Do I

2008-06-19T00:03:00.002-05:00

Our fore-parents fought and died so that we would have the right to vote. I do not think for a minute that the purpose of that fight was to ensure that all Black folks would vote for the same candidate(s).

The beauty of having the right to vote is our ability to weigh the pros and cons of the candidates and measure the candidates’ values and beliefs against our own. We go through this process so that we can decide who should get our vote.

Isn’t our right to vote threatened by the “all for one and one for all” --we all must vote for Obama mentality with which non-Obamacans are being hammered ? If we allow ourselves to be bullied into making our voting decisions this way, what will our vote really mean?

MySpace Gangsters

2008-06-17T13:46:00.005-05:00

I first heard of MySpace (an online community) about 4 or 5 years ago, when my son was in high school. My son and daughter both created their own MySpace pages. I was so shocked by the boldness of some of the photos and postings of some of their friends that I monitored my kids’ activities on MySpace very closely. I visited their pages regularly to conduct what I called “MySpace raids.” When I saw that strangers were contacting my daughter through MySpace, I made her make her page private – which meant that she could control visitors to her page.

Back in those early days of MySpace I was so concerned about all this information on the Internet for the world to see, that I contacted some of the parents of my children’s friends. I wanted them to know about the kind of photos, information, comments and postings that were out there. Amazingly many of the parents didn’t seem to be concerned at all. I suggested that they check their kid’s pages periodically. A few parents shut their kids down all together, a couple took the time to look at the pages and the rest did nothing.

The message that I continue to reiterate to my children (they are 21 and 16 so I’m using the word children loosely) is that everything on the Internet is public. Even if your page is private -- the information can still be accessed by an untold number of people. I want them to realize that they should be mindful of the image they are portraying through the site.

Some of their friends have inappropriate photos and profanity all over their sites. For some reason MySpace seems to give people a since of power and freedom. People put all their business right on the Internet without reserve.

The other interesting thing about MySpace is that you can really get a feel for who a person really and truly is based on the friends listed and their comments. Association brings about assimilation. How very true is that saying.

In the news the other day was a story about a man in Florida who threatened a police station via MySpace. His threat was there along with his – gun in hand – photo. Fortunately he was arrested before going on his shooting spree.

My son calls MySpace “the devil” and calls people who use MySpace to either catch their boyfriend/girlfriend cheating or to threaten other people “MySpace gangsters”.

I’m especially concerned about young people’s use of MySpace. Kids tend to think they are invincible. Maybe MySpace is still too much of a novelty for people to step back and realize that it can be dangerous. Discretion and prudence are the name of the game.

Yesterday’s Sports

2008-06-16T12:57:00.006-05:00

My Lakers pulled off a miracle yesterday. I was so nervous about the game, I couldn’t even watch it. I’ve been so frustrated watching them play. I’m just happy that they won and I hope that they can make history and win the championship after being down 3 games to 1. We’ll see. . .

After getting off to a horrible start yesterday, Tiger birdied the last hole to take the U.S Open into a playoff. It was fascinating to watch him work his magic – once again. I’m always tempted to say that Kobe is the best athlete (in all sports) but you know, I think I’ve got to give that title to Tiger.

As a single mom, my kids wished me a “Happy Father’s Day” yesterday. I accepted their wish and can honestly say, (in part) thanks to golf and basketball -- I had a good Father’s Day.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy

2008-06-13T16:01:00.008-05:00

My stepfather was a very special man. He is the only father I’ve ever really known, so from this point on I will refer to him here, as I did growing up as my father – "Daddy”.

I didn’t really realize what a special man he was when I was growing up. Like most kids, I only focused on every shortcoming I could possibly identify -- and I kept the list nearby at all times.

There were times he irritated me so much I just wanted him to go away. I can’t even articulate what about him irritated me. If anything, it was probably me just wanting to dislike him as some kind of crazy defense mechanism. After all, he was my sister’s father, and not truly mine. I’ve always been very protective of my heart (even as a child) so I guess I just thought disliking him was safer than openly loving him. Crazy, huh?

Now I remember and appreciate the fact that he really was a funny, loving, generous, caring man who loved my two sisters and me unconditionally and equally. He was Daddy.

My regret (as is often the case) is that I did not get over myself enough to tell him how I felt about him until he was on his death bed. He was literally lying there with only hours left when I finally told him how much I loved him and appreciated him. How I praise God for that opportunity and I am thankful that Daddy heard, understood and acknowledged it.

He did things for us that probably sound minor but really meant a lot. We rode the public bus to junior high and high school, but if it was raining -- 9 times out of 10 Daddy was out front waiting to take us home when school dismissed. Instead of appreciating the ride, my thoughts were, “I sure hope my friends don’t see me getting in the Sanford and Son pickup truck.”

Daddy taught me to drive but instead of appreciating him taking the time, I got annoyed with him for falling asleep while I was at the wheel. He had narcolepsy – a horrible case of it I might add. He’d fall asleep in mid-sentence, in the middle of dinner, driving – you name it and he fell asleep doing it.

Daddy gave us our allowance. I should have appreciated that because I don’t think my mother would have given us an allowance. But it drove me crazy that I started with $14 a week in 9th grade and I was still getting $14 a week in 12th grade. Now I know that $14 was better than no dollars but back then I refused to let it go.

Daddy was very even-tempered and everyone loved him. My mother was the opposite. So in a household of much cussin’ and fussin’ (by my mother) – I should have welcomed his peaceful demeanor.

Daddy took me on my first trip out of the state. We drove to Louisiana. For me, that was the longest, most boring ride and I think my sister and I complained all the way there and all the way home. Sure, I was only 12 but I should have or could have appreciated the vacation.

I could actually go on for quite a while, now that I think about it. Of course he had his faults but he was a good man. He was a good father. And he did whatever he had to do to provide for our family so that my mother would not have to work.

So as my thoughts drift to Sunday, I can say “Happy Father’s Day Daddy” with many cherished memories in mind.

Milestones & Carelessness

2008-06-12T11:44:00.010-05:00

My daughter got her driver’s license today. My son is paying a traffic ticket for a running red light today. And I’m trying to figure out how I will manage to continue to pay for both gas and auto insurance.

In this case, reaching a milestone and being careless both have the same bottom line effect -- mo' money, mo' money, mo' money. This ain’t right.

Graduation Observations

2008-06-11T10:48:00.006-05:00

I went to the high school graduation for my daughter’s school yesterday. She doesn’t graduate until next year but many of her friends graduated yesterday – so I decided to go. Most graduations are pretty boring to me so I found myself sitting there making silly observations such as:

1. My area must be pretty diverse – there was a good percentage of African, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and Latino names in the graduation program.

2. Reading through the program reminded me that Black folks sure have a “unique” way of naming their children. (I’ll say no more on that subject.)

3. People don’t really dress up to attend graduations anymore. Although the graduation was held at a church, most people were dressed like they were on their way to a picnic.

4. Nobody seems to really pay attention to any of the graduation speeches. That’s really a shame for the speakers.

5. Although the principal said that they would announce a name every 3 seconds to expedite the process (which meant that it should have taken only 21 minutes to call the 423 names) they actually averaged 5 – 6 seconds so it took twice that amount of time. Of course that is the most boring part of a graduation.

6. Although the principal asked that no one use air horns or any other noise-makers during the ceremony, there were 3 or 4 hardheads in the audience.

While I think that graduations are generally very boring – I always get sentimental and cry during the ceremony. Hearing Pomp and Circumstance just does something to me. The most significant observation of the night was that most all of the family and friends in attendance were generally happy and excited.

There was a look of pure joy on the faces of people as they took photos, cheered for their loved ones and just sat waiting to hear their graduates’ names. Watching that excitement actually made my boredom wane. This was the first of what will hopefully be many educational milestones in the lives of the Class of 2008.

Obama-mania

2008-06-09T12:42:00.004-05:00

Remember the story of the Pied Piper of Hamelin? The Pied Piper was hired to rid the rat infested town of its critters. When the townspeople reneged on paying the Pied Piper for his services he returned to the town, played his musical pipe and lured all of the children out of the town -- and they were never seen again.

Do you hear music?

James 1:17

2008-06-08T16:12:00.005-05:00

1. Salvation
2. My children
3. My family
4. My friends
5. My health
6. My business
7. Things
8. Courage & Strength
9. My upbringing
10. Freedom

I woke up in a bit of a funk this morning thinking of my never-ending, never- completed, ever-growing “to do” list. It's all so daunting. But today is Sunday and if I can’t remember on any other day, surely on Sunday I can remember all that the Lord has done for me. As I often admonish my kids, “I need to get over myself.” I will and simply say, thank you Lord for the many, many blessings – some of which are listed above.

James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Good and perfect gifts -- I have them both. Thank you Lord!

Good Job Hillary

2008-06-07T17:22:00.003-05:00

Today Hillary Clinton gave her full support to Barack Obama. She made a great speech and didn’t waste a minute changing her website to show her support for Obama. I’ve not been a big Hillary Clinton fan (even when she was First Lady and I actually liked Bill) but I have to give her a gold star today. She suspended her campaign with great dignity.

And then there were 2. . .

Don’t Let the Smooth Taste Fool You

2008-06-06T11:06:00.009-05:00

The Internet is all abuzz with excitement over the Barack Obama nomination. Black radio is calling this a victory for “us” and proof that we have finally “arrived”. I’ve received tons of celebratory emails from friends and family over the past couple days. I suppose I should be happy about this history making event. Hmmm,ok.

Forgive my negativism (and my stretch of an analogy) but I have the same feeling about this that I had when OJ Simpson was found not-guilty of murdering Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. I’m not at all calling Obama a murderer but it’s that whole idea of retribution. Black folks believed Simpson was guilty but it was sweet revenge for all the wrongs that we as a people had suffered at the hands of White folks. He was guilty. We felt in our hearts that he was guilty -- but we were happy that he was found not-guilty. An eye for an eye. White folks owed us that one.

Now, so what if Obama is least qualified to be our next president? Does anyone even know who he is -- or do we even care? It’s the Black man’s turn. It’s about “justice” and finally being able to do what White folks have been doing forever. It's history. It's time. I get it – but I don’t get it.

Maybe everyone else knows something that’s been kept secret from me but I have not heard anything even remotely impressive about Obama’s experience or qualifications nor have I heard what “change” really means. He is indeed charismatic but when the rubber meets the road that means very little.

"Don’t let the smooth taste fool you". Come on people -- we’re talking about the most important job in the land.

The Right Change

2008-06-04T09:15:00.009-05:00

Barack Obama has clinched the Democratic nomination. So now we know that either McCain or Obama will be the next President of the United States. But how do we decide? Everyone keeps talking about change but that could really mean little or a lot. It could mean anything -- or nothing at all. Change. That word is overused and way too ambiguous.

Although he didn't provide his definition, I liked what John McCain said about change yesterday. ". . . the direction of this country is going to change dramatically. But the choice is between the right change and the wrong change, between going forward and going backward," What is right change?

Voting for President is more than deciding on the best man for the job. It is deciding on the best man for doing the job of making the right change. I realize that is not a black and white, "no-brainer" (like I think I used to believe) but rather a very individual decision. Proper change for you may be completely improper for me.

So, as an individual, I will vote for the best man to do the job of:
1. handling the delicate situation of sensibly bringing our troops home.
2. turning our economy around.
3. appointing conservative judges to the Supreme Court.

These aren't my only issues but they are important ones. Although John McCain was not my choice among Republicans nominees, against Barack Obama – he gets my vote without much question.

Of course others will vote for the best man for the job of doing just the opposite of what I’ve listed because those are the issues most important to them. And that’s fine with me. That's the way democracy is supposed to work.

Because of this historic race in which for the first time, a Black man is the Democratic nominee, there will be those who vote strictly along color lines. Some will vote for Barack Obama simply because he is Black and others will vote for John McCain simply because he is not. We can't ignore that race will be the primary issue for many.

As we move toward November each of us should be honest with ourselves as we determine to whom our votes should go. Will we vote based on race, issues, tradition or something else? What does "right change" mean to you?

This May Be My Next Car

2008-06-03T07:39:00.007-05:00

General Motors announced that it is closing 4 truck plants and will begin to produce smaller, more fuel efficient cars. American Airlines recently announced a plan to impose a $15 fee for the first checked bag. Many employers are considering 4 day/10 hour work weeks for employees. Gas prices are causing change all across the country.

I continue to think of ways that I personally should and/or can adjust. As an update to my previous post -- I haven't been to Starbucks in over a month. That's big for me since I used to stop there at least 3 times per week. With gas prices what they are -- that still doesn't equal a tank of gas but every little bit helps.

I took the photo above in Rome. I thought that itsy-bitsy car was so small and cute I had to take a picture of it. The novelty has quickly worn off. I see a Smart Car in my future.

More Birthday Stuff

2008-05-31T07:47:00.005-05:00

It’s tradition in our family for the people celebrating their “un-birthday” (remember that from Alice in Wonderland?) to wake early on the morning of the birthday person’s birthday, tiptoe into his/her room and sing Happy Birthday. So, knowing my early morning schedule, my kids set their alarms for 6 this morning and came into my room singing and bearing gifts. B gave me a big basket from Bath and Body works. L gave me a yellow sun dress. My morning is definitely off to a nice start.

Traditionally on their birthdays I tell them the story of their birth. I tell them about labor and what I thought when I first held them. This morning, they returned the tradition (kind of) by telling me a funny childhood story.

We had some, “Mom, remember the time . .?” moments. L told the story about putting the smooth, pretty rock in her mouth for safe keeping – and swallowing it. I had to take her to emergency and then check her poop for several days afterward looking for that darned rock. There are no limits to the disgusting things a mother will do for her child.

B told the story about the fast little girl who wrote him a love note in elementary school. He showed me the note and I was outraged. My child was only in 4th grade and this little girl was asking about ”getting with him”. I took the note to the principal and the girl was suspended. I had to protect my child from that little Jezebel.

They really made me happy this morning. Because it was so early on a Saturday morning, I fully expected them to sing, drop the gifts and run back to bed. But not only did they spend some time with me this morning (much earlier than they would have liked) L is in the kitchen now making breakfast for me. And, later today we are all going golfing. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Thank God for birthdays! Tomorrow -- back to reality.

45 is Cool!

2008-05-30T13:39:00.006-05:00

I’ll be 45 years old tomorrow. That’s absolutely amazing to me. I certainly don’t feel like I thought I’d feel reaching 45. My friends and I often talk about the fact that we still feel like we’re in our 20’s. I’d like to think that I don’t look 45 either.

Of course I must admit that my body constantly reminds me that I am indeed aging. My hair is thinning a little and I can no longer ignore the gray. I have to wear glasses to read when I used to have 20/20 vision. I gain weight much more easily when I used to be a little stick. I have high cholesterol when I used to be able to eat all the ice cream I wanted. It takes a few steps each morning for my legs to “warm up” and not hurt when I walk. I have acid reflux when – well wait a minute -- actually I’ve had that for a while. I have restless leg syndrome but hmmm, well I think I’ve always had that too. They just finally put a name to it. (I guess I can't blame everything on aging.) Anyway, my point is that some things are not working as well as they used to work.

In spite of my body’s little reminders, I have no complaints. Some people dread getting older but each year I seem to get a bit more excited. I feel like I am at a new beginning.

I have one grown child and one almost grown. The thought of my children being grown and gone used to make me sad. I so enjoyed every aspect of raising them and spending time with them that I just felt that my life would be empty without them in the home. But now although I love them more than anything and still enjoy spending time with them, I am looking forward to the “me” time. I often tell them that when they leave my mantra will be “catch me if you can” because I plan to travel like crazy.

Being single and the ultimate introvert, my other concern about getting older used to be that I’d be lonely. But now I think about it and recall that I’ve always been able to be ok all by myself. Even now, armed with a good book, I’d actually prefer being alone.

A friend asked me where I’d like to live if I could live anywhere in the world. I couldn’t narrow it down to one place. I would love to either live abroad or on a sprawling ranch someplace. Either adventure would ensure that I wouldn’t have time to be lonely. These aren’t faraway dreams but definite plans for my future.

In talking about my birthday, my daughter asked me how long I’d like to live. My answer was that I’d like to live long enough to see the success of my children’s children. I did some quick math and determined that would put me right around 85 years old.

But I want to be a spunky, self-sufficient 85 year old. I saw a 100 year old woman celebrating her birthday on the news the other day. People gathered around her to sing and were looking at her and treating her like she was a little girl. And then they added insult to injury by putting a party hat on her head. At some point you seem to get so old that people start treating you like you are a child again. I don’t want to be that kind of old.

This point in my life is exciting indeed. I’m 45 with many accomplishments and wonderful memories behind me but they don’t begin to equal all that I see in my future. I’m not sure what 45 is supposed to feel like but I feel really good. 45 is cool!

Matthew 11:28

2008-05-29T16:31:00.006-05:00

For most of her young life, my 16 year old daughter has had frequent nightmares. When she was younger she would wake me whenever she had a nightmare. I would go into her room and sing praise songs with her until she calmed down enough to fall asleep.

I just knew that even though I cannot sing at all, (not even a little bit – I know my limitations) singing praise to God would make satan flee. Of course it could be that he fled because he couldn’t stand my singing. Either way – my singing provided peace for my child. I bought her a ring that said, “Fear Not” at that time too. It was to remind her not to be fearful of anything because God was always with her.

I used to have nightmares fairly often myself but I could always link them to either something that happened during the day or some movie that I had no business watching. I can remember that the movie Jagged Edge (1985 -- Glen Close and Jeff Bridges) was one such movie. If you’ve seen the movie, you know that means it doesn’t take much for me to have nightmares.

Several months ago I noticed that I was having nightmares much more frequently. Some weeks I’d have three or four. It was driving me crazy. I’d wake with a racing heart, a headache and a very tired body.

Last week after having a nightmare several nights in a row I mentioned it to my daughter. I told her that I was getting to the point where I was dreading sleep because the nightmares were always so vivid and lasting.

My daughter told me that a few months prior she had successive nightmares and was so frightened that after having one at about 3AM one morning she got up, went downstairs to get her Bible and took it back to her room with her. She said she read a little, prayed and then put the Bible on her nightstand. She said she purposely put it on her nightstand believing that having the Word close would make a difference. She said she wanted her weapon near. According to my daughter, that was her last nightmare.

She reminded me of what should have been obvious -- I should have talked to God about my nightmares. I think I often feel that some of my issues are too small and that I would be bothering God. It’s really amazing how long it sometimes takes to remember to take all of our burdens, all of our cares and even our nightmares to God.

Scripture says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

Thank you Lord for the rest!!

Obama Dawns. . .

2008-05-28T10:34:00.005-05:00

The May 26, 2008 issue of Jet Magazine has an article entitled “Obama Dawns as Democrats’ Hope to Win White House”. Two statements in the article bothered me.

The first statement was “Some within Obama’s camp are especially troubled that many of the Black superdelegates, particularly the African-American members of Congress who make up the Congressional Black Caucus, have been slow to support Obama. In some cases, Black representatives are continuing to actively campaign for Clinton even though Obama handily won their districts.”

OK, I really want to make sure I have this right. Obama’s camp is upset that all of the Black folks are not “getting with the program.” Some have the nerve to continue to campaign for Clinton? (Shame on them!) Because Obama has said it’s over for Clinton, all of her supporters should immediately flock to him? Correction – all of her Black supporters should immediately flock to him? Unbelievable.

The second statement was a quote from Representative David Scott of Georgia, who said, “For the first time, we have a chance to elect a Black person as the next President of the United States. Now’s not the time for us to be divided.”

So, race alone should unite? Can you define “us” for me? For the sake of electing the first Black president – there should not be any division. We don’t care if he is the best person for the job or not. We only care that we have a chance to make history.

I fear that we may never get to a place where every darn thing for Black folks doesn’t boil down to race. Jet’s article reinforced my beliefs that a) the majority of Black folks are voting for Obama simply because he is Black and truly do not care about where he stands on issues or even who he is as a person, and b) most Black folks believe that all Black folks are obligated to vote for Obama.

No thank you. I’m opting out.

All Is Well In Lakerland

2008-05-27T14:05:00.004-05:00

I am the biggest Laker Fan. Losing Game 3 to the Spurs was tough. I was hoping for a sweep -- but I am certain they will be back in form tonight. So today it's all about the Lakers. All is well in Lakerland!

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T14:11:00.003-05:00

Today is Memorial Day, so this morning I started thinking about the origin of Memorial Day. (I really do love the Internet!) The US started celebrating Memorial Day shortly after the Civil War to remember those who died in the war, as well as those who survived. A few years later, it was expanded to include not only veterans of all wars (casualties and survivors) but it was to also be a time to remember deceased loved ones.

So, today I decided that I will celebrate Memorial Day in two ways. The first is that I want to remember loved ones who impacted my life in positive ways. These are people that I continue to miss terribly and of whom I have very fond memories. They are:
1. My mother – committed suicide in February 1998.
2. My grandmother – died of Alzheimer’s disease in January 1997.
3. My step-father (who was the only father I ever knew) – died of cancer in June 1996.
4. My dear friend Viv – died of cancer in May 2002.

Secondly, as I think about the word “memorial” it takes me to the word “remember”. And whenever I think of “remembering” something the thing that stands out in my mind is the number of times that God admonishes us to “remember” in the Bible. I pulled out my concordance and counted the word “remember” 148 times. Clearly God really wanted to drill the point home that we must never forget what He has done and what He continues to do for us. He had to tell that to the Children of Israel dozens of time.

With that said, also today, in spite of anything and everything else going on in my life – I will remember all that God has done for me. Memorial Day 2008 has me in praise mode. Thank you Lord – I will remember!

Agreeing to Disagree

2008-05-23T14:15:00.010-05:00

What does it truly mean to agree to disagree? Whether Republicans vs. Democrats or Christians vs. Non-Christians or Pro-lifers vs. Pro-choicers or those for gay rights vs. those against – when it comes to talking about the issue, the issue itself is often overshadowed by an angry tone of voice and over-the-top emotion. Being passionate about a position is one thing but being angry about it is quite another.

The anger factor was illuminated for me as I was listening to the radio yesterday. When I got in the car, it was tuned to a station that was discussing the presidential race from a Democratic perspective. I listened for a while but got so fed up with them Republican-bashing and basically calling Black Republicans stupid, that I changed the station.

I tuned in to a Republican talk-radio station. They were discussing the Michigan/Florida delegate situation. As soon as I thought I’d found a station that would be kinder and gentler to my ears – they started bashing Democrats. And the anger and rudeness to callers just got to me. I plugged in my IPOD instead.

Now I know that when there is a contest of any kind, the candidates sometimes do what they have to do to win. That often leads to fighting dirty. I get that. So, to a degree, I can tolerate Repubicans and Democrats going after each other. After all, it is the White House that is at stake.

However, what I don’t get is the anger that is conveyed along with the message. As a Republican, there is nothing that an angry Democrat could ever say to me that would sway me. I won’t listen to their viewpoint. I won’t consider their position. I will tune the message out along with the anger. That is not because of a lack of a valid message but because of the delivery. I’m sure Democrats feel the same, they probably see Republicans as a bunch of self-righteous folks who don’t know how to agree to disagree.

It seems to me that if either side wants to be heard or even have a remote chance of swaying voters of the opposing party – they’d tone the anger down a bit. What’s up with that anyway? If we disagree, we disagree. Don’t get mad about it.

Golf Addiction

2008-05-22T12:14:00.005-05:00

I used to think that golf was the most boring sport on earth. In fact, I didn’t even think of it as a sport. When I thought of golf, I thought of a bunch of pudgy old men smoking cigars and lazily driving from hole to hole trying to find a little white (impossible to find) ball. It’s amazing how things have changed.

Two years ago I decided to take a golf class through a local university with my daughter. While the instructor was horrible and truly did not care if we learned the game or not – something made me want to pursue it further.

After wasting my money on the golf class I searched the Internet for a local golf league. I found a women’s league in the area and my daughter and I promptly joined it. Through the league we participated in a couple clinics and had the opportunity to play golf twice per month. Between league “play dates” I played with friends, my daughter and my son. I also took a few more lessons. I was hooked.

Now I watch the golf channel, closely follow Tiger, subscribe to golf magazines and frequent golf shops. I can’t seem to get enough of golf.

There is so much more to golf than I ever thought. Aside from the thrill of hitting a good shot or parring a hole (which I don’t do very often), being on a nice course has a calming effect.

When not playing with the league, I generally play with men. That is not by design, I just don't know any women that play. Playing with men adds an interesting dynamic to the game. Men typically instantly go into instructor mode and want to give tips on everything from how high to tee the ball to what color the tee should be.

Then there are the men who want to show off -- as if their manhood is somehow linked to the length of their drive. And finally there are the men who don’t play very well and will cheat before ever allowing a mere woman to beat them. Yes, playing with men is most enjoyable. :-)

On the other hand, playing with women is something entirely different. Women don’t really seem to care how other women play. Women want to make sure that they have the cutest golf gear. I will admit, that I too am guilty of getting caught up in this golf gear competition.

Golf itself is an exciting, addictive, challenging, rewarding, therapeutic game but there is something to be said for that feeling of knowing that you are on a beautiful course, with good clubs, a cute bag and stylish golf attire. That probably sounds really shallow but it really does add to the experience.

So while I have never been athletic in the least, golf is the one sport that I know I’ll be playing for some time to come. Oh, and about those cigars – my how I love the smell of them. The pudgy old men? Not so much.

Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do

2008-05-21T15:50:00.002-05:00

What an interesting time in politics. Obama and Clinton are truly slugging it out. Primary after primary the lead has changed and momentum has shifted. Just when it looks like Obama’s got it “all sewn up”, Clinton digs her heels in for the continued fight.

So now the only chance Clinton has is if the Florida and Michigan delegates are allowed to vote at the Democratic Convention in August. Of course Obama is hoping that isn’t allowed. We’ll find out on May 31st.

What’s comical to me now is that Obama is already acting like he has won the Democratic nomination. His attention is now completely focused on Republican John McCain. It’s as if Hillary Clinton no longer exists. I’m sure Hillary is feeling dissed right about now.

Nevertheless, Hillary is holding on to the old adage, “it ain’t over until the fat lady sings.” But wait, I think I hear her clearing her throat. . .

A New Pledge

2008-05-20T16:04:00.005-05:00

Someone sent the poem below to me yesterday. The email said it was written by a teenage girl in 2002. I did a quick search on the Internet but was unable to verify its origin. If it's truly been around since 2002 you may have seen it before but I thought it was pretty good -- so I'm sharing. . .

The New Pledge of Allegiance

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

California Leads The Way -- But Where Are We Going?

2008-05-19T09:39:00.003-05:00

Last week California’s Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on gay marriage. I can’t say that I am surprised. California is one of the most liberal states in the union with the highest percentage of gays. This “blue state” is getting “bluer” by the minute.

Of course homosexuality is not new. Homosexuality led to God’s destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

But the fact that it has been around forever does not make it less sinful. I believe the difference between homosexuality and other sins is that we are at a point in history where we are trying to pretty up the sin. It is simply an “alternate lifestyle”. People are “born that way and there’s basically nothing that they can do about it”.

This rationale is completely contradictory to Scripture. God would not call something a sin and then inflict that sin on people. I believe that certain people may be more inclined to be gay than others -- just as certain people may be more inclined to lie or to steal than others. The question is – how do you react to that inclination? Do you give in to it or do you fight it?

Then there are those who just think being gay is cool. I’ve heard college students say, “sure, I’d try it.” As if they were being offered a drink or something. It’s a way of demonstrating “open-mindedness”. That’s where we are today. We’ve got to be open-minded and tolerant. If not, we are homophobic.

I’m not afraid of homosexuals – as the phobic part of the word homophobic would imply. I simply do not approve of the lifestyle. For me that does not mean that gays should be discriminated against. But by the same token, I do not believe that they should receive any special rights either.

Do gay people have the right to be gay? Sure. Should these gay people be allowed to get married or enter into some kind of civil union? Not as far as I’m concerned.

Webster’s first definition of marriage is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”. God’s definition is similar – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Marriage is between one man and one woman.

In light of the Supreme Court decision – gay marriage is sure to be a key issue in the presidential election. California, you never disappoint.

"Hold On One Second Sweetie”

2008-05-15T10:53:00.003-05:00

Apparently while on the campaign trail in Detroit yesterday, Barack Obama responded to a questioning reporter by saying, “Hold on one second, sweetie”. Oh no -- his bid for the Democratic nomination is over! According to some journalists, this may have been Obama’s “macaca moment.”

Are we really serious here? He apologized for this slip of the tongue and I’m sure it was just that. Can it really be compared to George Allen’s 2006 slip? I think reporters are so eager to uncover dirty laundry, discover a character flaw or otherwise report a bit of campaign-changing news that they are grasping at straws.

I’m not an Obama fan but the comparison is really ridiculous. With all that is going on in the world why do we even care about this? How about we just focus on the candidates’ positions on key issues?

The Colored Girl

2008-05-14T17:09:00.007-05:00

Growing up, my grandmother always referred to Black folks as Colored. Even as a child I thought that was the cutest thing. She would say, “The Colored girl over there helped me.” I’m sure others were not as amused because at that time I think we were more popularly called Negroes. Or maybe we were transitioning into being called Afro-American. I could be wrong because I often get the chronological order of names Black folks prefer confused.

Whatever the case, my grandmother didn't care. She refused to play that name change game.

Now the politically correct refer to us as African-American. Some people actually get offended if called Black. But I have never been completely comfortable with being referred to as African American.

I am an American citizen -- period. To paraphrase a line from the character Prissy, in Gone with the Wind, “I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no Africa.” I was born and raised here in America. My parents were born and raised in America and so were their parents. Sadly, my heritage can be much more easily tied to Ireland or the Choctaw Nation than to Africa.

I do not mean to disrespect Africa. I think Africa is a great continent with phenomenal history. If I could definitively trace my roots back to my specific relatives in Africa I might (that’s a big might) feel differently. However, the chances of being able to do an Alex Haley style genealogy are very slim. Therefore, just as I do not consider myself Irish-American nor Native American – I am not African-American.

I do understand the need to have some designation for a person’s ethnicity. For me, being called African-American is just not representative of who I am. With that said, I’m OK with being called Black. I’m OK with being called a Negro. Heck, in honor of my grandmother, you can even call me Colored.

Political Diversity

2008-05-13T20:29:00.009-05:00

The chart below shows the voting breakdown for the 2006 elections – by ethnicity.

TOTAL__________________Democrat__________Republican

White (79%)________________47%_______________51%

African-American (10%)_____89%_______________10%

Latino (8%)________________69%_______________30%

Asian (2%)_________________62%_______________37%

Other (2%)_________________55%_______________42%

Are Black folks truly as one-dimensional a race of people as these numbers imply? I will never accept that.

If it is true (and I believe it is) that we are lagging far behind other races regarding education, finances, business, exposure to the arts, travel, planning for the future, etc. -- at least part of the reason may be found in these numbers.

If it is true (and I know it is) that our communities are plagued with high crime rates and way too many of our men are in prison -- maybe we should think about the significance of these numbers.

We are marching through the political process in one big, robotic clump. We are thinking, doing, saying and responding to our issues as if with simply one voice.

Perhaps if we (Black folks) allow a little political diversity within our race we could collectively come up with some solutions.

Paying For Gas

2008-05-12T14:02:00.001-05:00

An article on CNN’s website earlier this month compared gas prices in the US with the price of gas in other countries. Of 155 countries on the list, the US ranked 111. That means that only 44 countries had cheaper gas than the US.

I think the purpose of the article was to make us feel a little better about the price that we are paying for gas. While I am very glad that we do not have to pay $18.42 per gallon like they do in Sierra Leone, $3.50 is still a blow to my budget.

In London gas is $8.32 per gallon. I hope our gas doesn’t reach that price any time soon. But a major difference between filling up here versus London is the size of the cars. In London you rarely see SUVs or larger cars. Most everyone there drives itsy-bitsy little cars. They have small cars over there that we’ve never even seen here in the US. I swear some of them have got to be half the size of a Mini-Cooper. Consequently, it takes less for them to fill up and they get more miles to the gallon.

Some say that gas prices should remain high and in fact rise even higher as a means of protecting the environment. Higher gas prices will force us, as a country, to stop making environmentally unfriendly vehicles and opt for smaller, fuel efficient cars instead.

Others say that prices should remain high to force us to look for fuel alternatives and lessen our reliance on foreign oil.

This outrageous spike in gas prices seems to have come out of nowhere and I was not prepared for it. Unfortunately, I’m not hearing that anything is likely to change any time soon and trading in my gas guzzler for a SMART Car tomorrow is just not practical.

We may just have to accept high gas prices as a way of life. So, what are SUV driving people like me supposed to do?

Here’s my budget adjustment pledge to myself:
1. I will become more strategic in my driving. I will make fewer unnecessary trips “around town”. I’ll patronize the businesses closest to home.
2. Because I am spending so much more for gas -- I will try to save money in other areas. I’ll cut out inessentials like daily stops to Starbucks.
3. I’ll significantly cut down on clothes shopping.
4. I’ll clean out my garage and closet and have a garage sale. Sure it’s only a one-time reward but I may earn enough to buy a tank of gas. Every little bit helps.
5. I’ll stop for fast food less often.
6. And finally, if I review my cell phone plan, cable package, Internet package, home phone plan and security monitoring service – I am certain that I can save enough money with each to at least partially cover the additional money that I am spending for gas.

OK, that’s the plan. I’ll keep you posted.

Mama

2008-05-11T14:30:00.008-05:00

Mama was my grandmother. I remain convinced that she was the greatest grandmother the world has ever known. How fortunate I was to have had her as my own. Mama poured into my two sisters, two cousins and me in infinite ways.

Mama was always quoting Scripture but she was so wise in so many ways, that we didn’t realize until many years later that they were Bible verses and not just sage Mama-isms.

Mama was definitely a Proverbs 31 woman. She made sure that we always behaved in a prim and proper way, that we were exceptionally polite, that we memorized Bible verses, that we went to Sunday School each and every Sunday (and when she sent us off to Sunday School she made sure we put a quarter in our shoe for offering), that we learned to sew (by hand), and she made sure we were always dressed appropriately and modestly.

More than any of that, she made certain that we knew that we were loved. She signed all of our cards (and she gave them for every occasion -- birthday, Easter, Christmas, Valentine’s Day) “love always, your devoted grandmother.” She was indeed devoted to her grandchildren.

Aside from Scriptures, Mama had a phrase or quote for every occasion and every circumstance.

“It’s a poor dog who won’t wag his own tail” meant that it was ok to brag on yourself a little.

“Every shut eye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone.” meant don’t think you can get away with something just because you don’t see somebody else around looking at you or because you think people are gone – they can come right back.

“Hit dog holler” meant you said something to someone and it hit a nerve.

It was important to Mama that she instilled in us a very strong sense of right and wrong. Without hesitation she would quickly correct us if we were wrong and she would make sure that we went back and “made it right”. Because of her acute desire to always do what was right, everybody loved the woman affectionately known to everyone else as “Mama Clark”.

Today I find that I use Mama’s scale to measure right and wrong. I find myself repeating her sayings. One thing that I say to my children all of the time is “you are supposed to do right even if no one else does.” That wasn’t one of Mama’s sayings but it is a direct result of her influence in my life.

As much as I loved and miss my mother, this Mother’s Day my mind goes back to the memories of Mama. She was a perfect example of a Godly woman and I can only hope and pray that I have been successful in imparting at least a little bit of Mama to my children.

Black Republicans

2008-05-09T09:54:00.015-05:00

Here is an oxymoron for you -- I am a Black Republican. I read that only about 13% of Black voters are Republican so I suppose that makes me a double minority.

I am proud of my Black heritage and I am proud to be a conservative Republican. Why “Black America” fails to understand or accept that these two realities are capable of coexisting is something I do not understand.

Contrary to popular belief, all Black people do not fit comfortably into the Democratic Party. Some of us have opted for a different affiliation. This does not make us less Black.

Being a Republican does not mean that I do not care about “my people”. As far as race and the “plight of Black folks” are concerned, hmmm, well let me just say this – it’s time to stop waiting on that 40 acres and a mule. I just don’t think either party is going to do much for Black people. And quite frankly, I think that we have a whole lot that we need to do for ourselves before we start looking toward politicians for help. With that said, I’ve decided to remove racial issues from my political decision making process.

Without race as an issue, what are some of the things that really matter to me? Preservation of the principles on which this country was founded (yes, I am serious), protecting the traditional family, individual responsibility and less government are a few of my issues.

I believe that the Bible was divinely inspired and that every single word in it is true. The Democratic Party (as a whole) is making a mad (and frightening) dash away from all that is Biblical. The Republican Party is not perfect and I disagree with some their issues but I believe that most of the issues (and Biblical truths) that I hold dear are in better hands with Republicans.

I’m completely perplexed as to why so many Black folks have remained loyal to the Democratic Party. Historically we have always been conservative people. I would like to pose the challenge question – what have Democrats done for “us” lately?

Some consider my switch to the Republican Party the equivalent of treason. Some call me a rebel. Some say I should be required to turn in my “Black Card.” Some say it makes me a bourgeois b _ _ _ _ .

I will admit that it saddens me that instead of Black Democrats accepting Black Republicans they tend to characterize them as sell-outs or out of touch with the "community". Their negative feelings toward Black Republicans are so strong that I cannot even casually talk politics with members of my family or certain friends. They think I'm crazy.

For the record, I have not lost my mind. I made a conscious decision to register as a Republican. Other people probably have deeper, more interesting and profound reasons for their political affiliation. My reasons are a reflection of who I am and the way that I think.

I just love America!

Birds

2008-05-08T10:24:00.005-05:00

Bob Rosner and Sherrie Campbell of Payscale.com wrote an article called Recession-Time Do and Don'ts. The article says that during hard economic times we act like either a chicken, an ostrich, a buzzard or an eagle.

The chicken is the pessimist. He runs around as if it’s doomsday screaming “the sky is falling”. The ostrich protects himself from what is going on by keeping his head in the sand. The buzzard circles, just waiting to capitalize on the circumstances. Finally, Rosner and Campbell say that “eagles know the storm is coming before other birds and they use the storm's winds to rise above the trouble.” While others merely weather a recession, the eagle rises above it.

I am sure we would all like to say that we are eagles. However, I believe that to successfully survive, we really need to be a combination of all four.

We should warn our friends, like the chicken; take cover like the ostrich; and, be resourceful (or perhaps a bit entrepreneurial) like the buzzard. Lastly, we should gracefully ride out the storm like the eagle – finding comfort in knowing that no storm lasts forever.

2008-05-07T23:14:00.001-05:00

Desensitization

2008-05-07T07:47:00.009-05:00

I received an email from the American Family Association (AFA) a couple days ago. They send email alerts to their subscribers regarding issues of concern to the family or issues that threaten the traditional family. Sometimes I think that they get a little nitpicky with their issues and the emails get to be too much. Other times, I appreciate them keeping me “in the know.”

The email that I received was about a homosexual couple on the soap opera, As the World Turns. This couple recently had a scene in which they kissed (open-mouthed) on screen. (Can I say “yuck!” at this point without being called homophobic?)

Proctor and Gamble sponsors As the World Turns and they established a toll-free number for viewers to call and let them know if they approve or disapprove of the homosexual couple. The AFA wanted subscribers to call Proctor & Gamble to let them know that they oppose the gay kissing scenes.

According to the AFA, “The motive behind P&G’s push is to desensitize viewers, especially younger viewers, to the homosexual lifestyle. The ultimate goal of homosexual activists is homosexual marriage.” Whether this is Proctor & Gamble’s true motive or not -- I do not know. What I do know is that we certainly are becoming desensitized to homosexuality, violence, gore and crime.

Here's an example of what I mean. Growing up I was frightened to death by Alfred Hitchcock movies. The Birds was one of those movies that made me nearly jump out of my skin. A few years ago I rented The Birds because I wanted my kids to see it. To me, it was a classic and Alfred Hitchcock was the greatest.

So, we sat down to watch this movie and I anxiously monitored my kids' faces for a response. At the start of the very first bird attack scene, they started laughing! Then they questioned me, wanting to know exactly what part of the movie was supposed to be the “scary part”. They really wanted to know how and why that movie could have frightened me. They just could not understand. I understood though.

My children had already seen so much on television and in the movies that was a hundred times worse than The Birds, that this movie was more of a comedy than a thriller for them. They had been desensitized.

That’s exactly what is going on in our world in general. The things of the world that used to shock us no longer have that effect. From sex on television to profanity in magazines to vulgarity in songs to homosexuality and over the top violence in movies – we accept it all. Nothing has shock-value anymore. Not only do we fail to think anything is wrong with any of it – we reward it.

Just think about it. What kind of movies typically win awards? Things that used to be considered trash are now considered brilliant works of art. I think it's all such a shame.

Webster defines the word "desensitize" as follows: to make emotionally insensitive or callous; specifically : to extinguish an emotional response (as of fear, anxiety, or guilt) to stimuli that formerly induced it. That sums it up perfectly. We are all desensitized.

My grandmother used to ask, “What is this world coming to?” We no longer need to ask what it's "coming to", we've reached that dreaded point to which she was referring.

Let's Vote

2008-05-06T09:47:00.004-05:00

I was listening to the radio on my way to the office this morning. Today presidential primaries in both Indiana and North Carolina are being held. The radio show’s phone lines were busy with potential voters calling to complain about voting improprieties.

Apparently polling places have been moved, incorrect information was given to voters regarding requirements to vote, names were missing from lists, and so on. "They" are out to get “us” – again.

These calls led to conversations about the recommendation that people be required to show identification in order to vote. According to the radio program and the callers – there is a calculated, strategic conspiracy to prevent Blacks from voting.

For me, this is getting really old and tired. Racism absolutely exists, Black people still have a long way to go to achieve true equality and there are those who would be happy to ship us back to Africa – but must we truly be paranoid about everything? I just don’t believe that everything is racially motivated.

I am all for having to provide identification in order to vote. We have to provide identification to write a check, rent a video, board a plane, make a credit card purchase, and hundreds of other things. Why not show identification for something as significant as voting?

Who are all these people who do not have identification? Why don’t they have identification? And why are “we” OK with them not having identification? Forget about voting – how are they getting through life?

We are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not cry about the hardship that requiring identification will cause for people without ID. Instead, along with the campaign to get people registered to vote should be a campaign to assist people in obtaining government issued identification cards.

Why would we want to make it easier for people to remain ID-less? Why would we want to keep people in a position that prevents them from doing the things that average Americans can do – like write checks at the market?

Let’s make sure that all of “us” have what we need instead of making it easier for us to remain without. Without identification -- doors remain shut. With identification -- doors open. As far as I’m concerned – this is how we truly empower Black folks.

Mother's Day Corsages

2008-05-05T13:08:00.002-05:00

Having lost two of the most important women in my life (my mother and grandmother) in the late 1990’s, Mother’s Day is one of those “holidays” I wish I could fast forward through.

As a child, I remember going to church and getting a red carnation corsage on Mother’s Day. A red corsage meant that your mother was living and a white one meant that your mother was deceased. Apparently you were to receive a yellow corsage if you had lost a child but my church never went that far.

Because my mother was living at the time, I never gave my red corsage much thought. However, many years later, on the first Mother’s Day after my mother’s suicide, I went to church and was given a white carnation. I burst into tears on the spot. How sad and embarrassing to be “singled out” that way.

I immediately went back to my first memories of the red vs. white corsages and felt sadness for all the prior recipients of white corsages.

So, now I think I’d just rather not wear a corsage at all. Or, maybe this year I’ll wear an orange one. After all, orange is my favorite color. I just don’t want that white corsage distinction. I don’t want people to wonder what happened to my mother. I don’t want the people with red corsages to feel guilty looking at my white one.

Who in the world came up with that tradition anyway? B and L – are you “listening”? Mom wants orange.

Being Kee

2008-05-05T08:37:00.001-05:00

I've always enjoyed writing. People have always told me that I was good at it and I've got lots of opinions, thoughts, views, etc. Starting a blog is just a natural transition, I guess. Who knows, maybe this will lead to that book that my sisters and I are always threatening to write.

You'll get a glimpse of my thoughts on politics, Christianity, entertainment, family, business, love, friendship, trivia and a whole lot of other things. Be sure to add your comments. That's what will make this fun.

Anyway, I think I'm more than a little different so I will likely (albeit unintentionally) offend some and make others scratch their heads in disbelief. I'd like to think that there are a few folks out there though, that think a lot like I do.

I really don't know how to be anything other than who I am so this is the beginning of me -- Being Kee.

Hold on, here we go. . .